There are days that I really want to get down and discouraged. My mind starts thinking and the devil gets a hold and doesn't let go. Even though God has spared me from death, even though He has blessed me beyond measure, I still want to throw the towel in at times.
Even though I believe in Him, even though my faith is strong. It's still very easy to think my mountains are much larger than any amount of faith that may be in me. You see, I am a thinker...and the devil knows I am. So that's where I fight most of my battles, in my mind. I wish I could be one of those carefree folks but I'm not. A planner, that's what I am. So when there is no plan, I feel like I'm out of control. But, that's exactly how God wants us. We are nothing, He is everything. Now that's hard to accept....but in our weakness, He is the strongest.
Expecting a miracle in any situation is hard because it requires us to see something that is not there as well as having no idea how it will ever happen. The other day I found the coolest sign. Expect a Miracle, kinda shabby chic, little pink dots on it....I bought it and it's now hanging in the pink bedroom. Do I feel crazy doing this? Yes. Do I kinda cringe when someone looks in there and see's my "acts of faith"? Yes. Are there days I want to take it down, paint the room and forget it all? Yes. Then in the stillness, in my time alone with God reading His Word, His voice is clear. He will give us the desires of our hearts, that he is longing to be good to us, that if we have faith as small as a mustard seed we can say mountain move and it will.
The coolest thing is we have the Word to get stirred up, to read about His wonderous works. To read how faith saw so many through. Abraham, Sarah, Moses, Noah, Rahab, Job, David....all of them, they all lived a miracle....some had heard about this man named Jesus but to have all the miracles in one book, they didn't have it....So here we are today roaming around. Trying to make things happen. Trying to come up with plans. Giving up on things that are in are heart. Forgetting that He is our Provider. Forgetting that He is the God that spoke the world into motion.
He wants to see our faith but without works it is nothing...I'm not talking about works, in the way many think...like working to get grace or mercy or any of the things He gives us for free....I'm talking about works of faith. Believing, speaking His Word, walking around that mountain, taking on the Goliath we may be facing. See it's easy to forget all the things He has done. It's hard when we face battle after battle. What if we didn't give up so easy, I wonder what would happen....maybe just exactly what we would least expect. A Miracle.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Thursday, September 17, 2009
That horse....
A while back I wrote about this horse up from our house. While driving by this horse on several occasions, he was always in the same corner....After about 10 times noticing it, God spoke to me and said, "Paige you are much too like that horse." You get in your little safe corner and stay stuck there. There all too many of us that do the same thing.
Shortly thereafter, while driving one day I noticed the horse had moved from his little corner to out in the middle of the field. And, then another day he was over in another area. Very good, I thought...very, good. A lesson had actually been learned in it all and I tried myself to venture out and not stay in my little corner. Doing things that were bold and things that required more of me for others, rather than more of me for myself. Singing a little louder and speaking praises of our Lord a little more often. It was good, very good....
Now, a few days ago I drive by and THE HORSE IS BACK IN IT'S CORNER! How ironic .....exactly what we do.....It's so easy for us to get right back into the same ole, same ole. My corner is pretty safe....as little fear as possible, as little hurt, no worry about acceptance....So I go about not exposing myself to anymore than necessary and I pray that I can just stay in my little corner and have my relationship with God. I keep my back in the corner and I have visual of everything that comes my way, or at least I try my hardest. Control, I think that's what it's called.....
That personal relationship is important BUT what good are we doing if we aren't out sharing. Out in the middle of the field...just waiting for an opportunity to do what He has called us to do, be who we know He wants us to be. Not the "safe Christian" who makes it all personal but the "out in the field Christian" ready for whatever God needs us to do.
So it's crazy, this horse....It's like I know him....because he is just like me. I smile when I drive by now, whether he's out in the field or back in his corner. May we all be "out in the field Christians"!
Shortly thereafter, while driving one day I noticed the horse had moved from his little corner to out in the middle of the field. And, then another day he was over in another area. Very good, I thought...very, good. A lesson had actually been learned in it all and I tried myself to venture out and not stay in my little corner. Doing things that were bold and things that required more of me for others, rather than more of me for myself. Singing a little louder and speaking praises of our Lord a little more often. It was good, very good....
Now, a few days ago I drive by and THE HORSE IS BACK IN IT'S CORNER! How ironic .....exactly what we do.....It's so easy for us to get right back into the same ole, same ole. My corner is pretty safe....as little fear as possible, as little hurt, no worry about acceptance....So I go about not exposing myself to anymore than necessary and I pray that I can just stay in my little corner and have my relationship with God. I keep my back in the corner and I have visual of everything that comes my way, or at least I try my hardest. Control, I think that's what it's called.....
That personal relationship is important BUT what good are we doing if we aren't out sharing. Out in the middle of the field...just waiting for an opportunity to do what He has called us to do, be who we know He wants us to be. Not the "safe Christian" who makes it all personal but the "out in the field Christian" ready for whatever God needs us to do.
So it's crazy, this horse....It's like I know him....because he is just like me. I smile when I drive by now, whether he's out in the field or back in his corner. May we all be "out in the field Christians"!
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Do you dance?
As I waited to board the plane on my way to Phoenix, I noticed a couple sitting across from me. The gentlemen was a tall, handsome gray headed man probably 50 or so and his wife, I assume, dressed in a cute pink top, a smile that radiated and a head with no hair. Cancer, I am sure.
I couldn’t help but wonder what type of cancer she had and if she was in remission or if she was fighting the disease. As I sat and waited to board, it was not hard to recognize the love the two had for each other. Sitting closely, holding hands, conversing back and forth, leaning their head on each other and even a kiss or two. Just in a few minutes, they probably shared more intimate moments than many of us do in a whole day, week or even possibly a lifetime!
My thoughts begin to wander with each look they gave each other, each kiss and each embrace. The good things at first like: were they going on a trip to see children, were they going on a vacation, maybe they had been to treatment and it was a great success and they were so happy with the outcome. Then the more somber thoughts like they only knew they had a little amount of time left together, possibly the cancer was incurable and they were enjoying the last few days, weeks or months they may have together.
So we boarded and I soon found my spot at the back of the plane. A bird’s eye view, maybe they wouldn’t notice me so entranced with the shear intimacy they were sharing. Both pointing and looking at the airplane window, he giving her soft pecks on the cheek, laughing with each other and putting his arm around her. She looking at him, like he was her knight in shining armor.
I am sure that they both have faced the reality of dealing with this deadly disease. The fear and angst that comes with any life and death diagnosis like cancer, can cause a person to really take a look at what is important in life. It really made me wonder why then is it so hard for us each day to not enjoy the same love they were experiencing. Like those songs go, “Live like you were dying,” or “If you get the chance to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance, I hope you dance.” Why is it so hard for us “to dance”? I can think of many times, I “sit it out” instead of “dancing”. Was it because of fear, anger, worry or complacency? Did we just not have the energy or the time? Were we so caught up in our life and what makes us happy, that we never took the time to be a blessing to others?
I don’t know how much time the lady in the pink shirt with the radiant smile might have to live. I’m not sure if her husband is just so joyful that he has more time with her or if he is spending the last few days he does have being the husband that maybe he hasn’t been for the last few years. Who knows? The time she has could be 10 years or it could be 10 days. Does it really matter? Should we be concerned how many days we have on this earth? God tells us that we have an eternal home. That this world is not our home. We are like pilgrims in a foreign land. God tells us that he formed us before we were in the womb and he knows each day that we will be presented. So why do we worry about tomorrow? Why don’t we live each day as the true gift it is, a gift from God. Is it possible that we could share more, give more and love more? Is it possible that we could “live like we were dying” or take that “dance” each day.
I’m thankful that God opened my eyes and my heart to the world around me. That he is showing me daily it so much more than me and more about Him. Thank you God for the lady in the pink shirt, radiant smile and bald head.
I couldn’t help but wonder what type of cancer she had and if she was in remission or if she was fighting the disease. As I sat and waited to board, it was not hard to recognize the love the two had for each other. Sitting closely, holding hands, conversing back and forth, leaning their head on each other and even a kiss or two. Just in a few minutes, they probably shared more intimate moments than many of us do in a whole day, week or even possibly a lifetime!
My thoughts begin to wander with each look they gave each other, each kiss and each embrace. The good things at first like: were they going on a trip to see children, were they going on a vacation, maybe they had been to treatment and it was a great success and they were so happy with the outcome. Then the more somber thoughts like they only knew they had a little amount of time left together, possibly the cancer was incurable and they were enjoying the last few days, weeks or months they may have together.
So we boarded and I soon found my spot at the back of the plane. A bird’s eye view, maybe they wouldn’t notice me so entranced with the shear intimacy they were sharing. Both pointing and looking at the airplane window, he giving her soft pecks on the cheek, laughing with each other and putting his arm around her. She looking at him, like he was her knight in shining armor.
I am sure that they both have faced the reality of dealing with this deadly disease. The fear and angst that comes with any life and death diagnosis like cancer, can cause a person to really take a look at what is important in life. It really made me wonder why then is it so hard for us each day to not enjoy the same love they were experiencing. Like those songs go, “Live like you were dying,” or “If you get the chance to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance, I hope you dance.” Why is it so hard for us “to dance”? I can think of many times, I “sit it out” instead of “dancing”. Was it because of fear, anger, worry or complacency? Did we just not have the energy or the time? Were we so caught up in our life and what makes us happy, that we never took the time to be a blessing to others?
I don’t know how much time the lady in the pink shirt with the radiant smile might have to live. I’m not sure if her husband is just so joyful that he has more time with her or if he is spending the last few days he does have being the husband that maybe he hasn’t been for the last few years. Who knows? The time she has could be 10 years or it could be 10 days. Does it really matter? Should we be concerned how many days we have on this earth? God tells us that we have an eternal home. That this world is not our home. We are like pilgrims in a foreign land. God tells us that he formed us before we were in the womb and he knows each day that we will be presented. So why do we worry about tomorrow? Why don’t we live each day as the true gift it is, a gift from God. Is it possible that we could share more, give more and love more? Is it possible that we could “live like we were dying” or take that “dance” each day.
I’m thankful that God opened my eyes and my heart to the world around me. That he is showing me daily it so much more than me and more about Him. Thank you God for the lady in the pink shirt, radiant smile and bald head.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Choices
We are praying that God will lead us to the right option. Preferably, a bright neon sign saying "THIS IS IT"....I've found out about the Angel Adoption agency. It seems like it's a strong possibilty. It's a big committment though to begin the process. Almost 12,000....then about 7,000 more as the process continues. There is a 10,000 adoption credit in Arkansas. So ultimately the cost would be fairly resonable. So I'm not sure....we will just have to pray and I ask that if you would pray for us. God listens to His children.
Going to work on the final information for the Foster/Adopt program in a few weeks and hopefully we can complete the DHS'S home study. So lots to think about and pray about. Every day I'm feeling the strength of my God. We are blessed!
Going to work on the final information for the Foster/Adopt program in a few weeks and hopefully we can complete the DHS'S home study. So lots to think about and pray about. Every day I'm feeling the strength of my God. We are blessed!
Saturday, July 11, 2009
It's been over 3 months since I've posted. A lot has happened and I'll be the first to say that I've been discouraged even mad! But His mercies are new every morning- thank goodness. Though we doubt and get mad, He is there.
I've wondered why....I've cried and pleaded, I've screamed and yelled. I think He knows that I just need to release it all but my heart is what He knows. He searches our heart. So no matter what....my heart remains faithful to Him.
James talks some about perservering and endurance. Those words have kept resonating with me through all this. That we must know that He that began a good work in us will finish it. It seems as though we give up too soon. Job is read practicallly every day or two, as well. It's important that I keep reminding myself that no matter how bad it may seem. God is in control.
We question at times why things happen. We wonder if it's punishment or if we've done something wrong. What seems to be coming clearer and clearer to me is that sometimes He allows it to happen to bring us into obedience. Even testing our heart.....are we faithful just when it's all "roses" or do we stay strong in heart and mind when we are faced wtih trials and tribulations. How many times have you gave up? It probably take my fingers and toes to count all the times I have, I may even have to borrow a few others.....
We can't give up. No matter what religion you are, no matter what doors you enter to worship....the bottom line is- We are to be a light in the world. When folks are looking to see how we handle situations- do they see and hear fear and doubt or are do we praise and remain faithful? It doesn't say anywhere in the Bible that it's easy. Matter a fact, I believe it states we will have trials and tribulations, that we will be faced to endure, that we may even wander a few years out in the wilderness. But PRAISE GOD that we can know that GOD IS IN CONTROL!
I've wondered why....I've cried and pleaded, I've screamed and yelled. I think He knows that I just need to release it all but my heart is what He knows. He searches our heart. So no matter what....my heart remains faithful to Him.
James talks some about perservering and endurance. Those words have kept resonating with me through all this. That we must know that He that began a good work in us will finish it. It seems as though we give up too soon. Job is read practicallly every day or two, as well. It's important that I keep reminding myself that no matter how bad it may seem. God is in control.
We question at times why things happen. We wonder if it's punishment or if we've done something wrong. What seems to be coming clearer and clearer to me is that sometimes He allows it to happen to bring us into obedience. Even testing our heart.....are we faithful just when it's all "roses" or do we stay strong in heart and mind when we are faced wtih trials and tribulations. How many times have you gave up? It probably take my fingers and toes to count all the times I have, I may even have to borrow a few others.....
We can't give up. No matter what religion you are, no matter what doors you enter to worship....the bottom line is- We are to be a light in the world. When folks are looking to see how we handle situations- do they see and hear fear and doubt or are do we praise and remain faithful? It doesn't say anywhere in the Bible that it's easy. Matter a fact, I believe it states we will have trials and tribulations, that we will be faced to endure, that we may even wander a few years out in the wilderness. But PRAISE GOD that we can know that GOD IS IN CONTROL!
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Almost Home
Well we are counting down the days....that's right....no more months! We are so excited about getting in our new home. It's been almost 3 years that we've waited to build since we sold our last house. We are so blessed to be able to build this house and are very happy to know that we have made decisions and looked to God to direct our path on it. It's the first house we've done that way, this makes our third...having faith and looking to God, sure beats the other chaos!
So the next step with the adoption is having them come do the final home study once we are in and settled. Hopefully, that will happen maybe in May or June. It was 1 yr. ago in April that we officially began this journey. Boy, it's been a journey and we've not even made it to the fun part yet! But, God has worked so deeply in the whole process, we have learned and grown so much in our faith. So, there is not one regret at all. There's not one bit of anxious feelings because we know God is in control.
In reality....it looks a little dim. The whole adoption thing. My health is such a big question right now. The doctors say this and that....and we listen. We thank them for their ability and knowledge. But then we have to turn it over to God. We can't dwell on any of it. It's a little more real, yes, wearing the external difibulator, kinda hit home...that goodness, I really might need this becaues of what's going on. So, it's hard to deny it because it's right there. But, then I thank God for what he's doing and what he is doing in our lives. And, what He is going to do. I speak those words of faith. He says that the word is as sharp as any double edge sword! Now that is some powerful stuff. So daily I get worded up. Constantly, reciting verses or singing words to songs in my head. Most of the time out loud, boy I've had some funny looks in Wal Mart....because the Holy Spirit will just come over me. I'm thankful for His Word.
I think about being almost home, what that means....here on earth, we look to the 4 walls and the place we can rest and feel safe. I can't help but think of our heavenly home. All the loved ones that have gone on before. The beautiful songs that will be sung as we enter in....it will be beautiful and I can't wait to see His face. Won't it be wonderful there, having no burdens to bear, joyfully singing with heart bells all ringing, oh won't it be wonderful there. An old hymn that we sing. It will be wonderul, won't it!
So the next step with the adoption is having them come do the final home study once we are in and settled. Hopefully, that will happen maybe in May or June. It was 1 yr. ago in April that we officially began this journey. Boy, it's been a journey and we've not even made it to the fun part yet! But, God has worked so deeply in the whole process, we have learned and grown so much in our faith. So, there is not one regret at all. There's not one bit of anxious feelings because we know God is in control.
In reality....it looks a little dim. The whole adoption thing. My health is such a big question right now. The doctors say this and that....and we listen. We thank them for their ability and knowledge. But then we have to turn it over to God. We can't dwell on any of it. It's a little more real, yes, wearing the external difibulator, kinda hit home...that goodness, I really might need this becaues of what's going on. So, it's hard to deny it because it's right there. But, then I thank God for what he's doing and what he is doing in our lives. And, what He is going to do. I speak those words of faith. He says that the word is as sharp as any double edge sword! Now that is some powerful stuff. So daily I get worded up. Constantly, reciting verses or singing words to songs in my head. Most of the time out loud, boy I've had some funny looks in Wal Mart....because the Holy Spirit will just come over me. I'm thankful for His Word.
I think about being almost home, what that means....here on earth, we look to the 4 walls and the place we can rest and feel safe. I can't help but think of our heavenly home. All the loved ones that have gone on before. The beautiful songs that will be sung as we enter in....it will be beautiful and I can't wait to see His face. Won't it be wonderful there, having no burdens to bear, joyfully singing with heart bells all ringing, oh won't it be wonderful there. An old hymn that we sing. It will be wonderul, won't it!
Friday, March 27, 2009
Love
Just some thoughts on Cor. 13
Though I share with others the love of God and speak in tongues by the Holy Spirit but have not LOVE, not one person will believe me and know the true LOVE of God.
Though I understand and discern His word and have faith that can move mountains, but have not LOVE, I am nothing!
Though I help those less fortunate and give my time to good works, but have not LOVE, I have nothing.
LOVE suffers long,
LOVE is kind,
LOVE does not envy,
LOVE does not boast,
LOVE does not behave rudely,
LOVE does not keep a record of wrong doings,
LOVE bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
LOVE NEVER FAILS.
Try putting your name in where LOVE is....Then step back and see if the statements are true.....
For a long time I've held on to anger and bitterness. I've had my little notepad in my head of the wrongs me/my family have suffered. And, it's been some suffering. Haven't we all suffered at the hands of fellow Christians, loved ones and friends. Haven't we each caused pain in anothers life? But, I think of our suffering and our sin. I think of His suffering and I realize that though my heart hurts and we've cried a thousand tears....God is Love. He forgives.
There is no place in the heart that LOVES God and receives His LOVE for anything but what Cor. 13 states. So then what....You forgive as He has forgiven. You LOVE as He has LOVED. Is it easy? No. Is this a commandment? Yes. Do we need to show obedience? Yes.
LOVE. This is My commandment, that YOU LOVE ONE ANOTHER as I HAVE LOVED YOU. They will know you are my disciples if YOU LOVE ONE ANOTHER.
So, I'll take a step forward today and I'll try and really grasp His amazing LOVE a little deeper and work on LOVING no matter what. Because really what are we all searching for? Acceptance, Love...feeling like we are cared for and if WE as Christians can't be that, NO MATTER WHAT, for this crazy world we live in...HOW WILL "THEY" EVER KNOW HIM?
Though I share with others the love of God and speak in tongues by the Holy Spirit but have not LOVE, not one person will believe me and know the true LOVE of God.
Though I understand and discern His word and have faith that can move mountains, but have not LOVE, I am nothing!
Though I help those less fortunate and give my time to good works, but have not LOVE, I have nothing.
LOVE suffers long,
LOVE is kind,
LOVE does not envy,
LOVE does not boast,
LOVE does not behave rudely,
LOVE does not keep a record of wrong doings,
LOVE bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
LOVE NEVER FAILS.
Try putting your name in where LOVE is....Then step back and see if the statements are true.....
For a long time I've held on to anger and bitterness. I've had my little notepad in my head of the wrongs me/my family have suffered. And, it's been some suffering. Haven't we all suffered at the hands of fellow Christians, loved ones and friends. Haven't we each caused pain in anothers life? But, I think of our suffering and our sin. I think of His suffering and I realize that though my heart hurts and we've cried a thousand tears....God is Love. He forgives.
There is no place in the heart that LOVES God and receives His LOVE for anything but what Cor. 13 states. So then what....You forgive as He has forgiven. You LOVE as He has LOVED. Is it easy? No. Is this a commandment? Yes. Do we need to show obedience? Yes.
LOVE. This is My commandment, that YOU LOVE ONE ANOTHER as I HAVE LOVED YOU. They will know you are my disciples if YOU LOVE ONE ANOTHER.
So, I'll take a step forward today and I'll try and really grasp His amazing LOVE a little deeper and work on LOVING no matter what. Because really what are we all searching for? Acceptance, Love...feeling like we are cared for and if WE as Christians can't be that, NO MATTER WHAT, for this crazy world we live in...HOW WILL "THEY" EVER KNOW HIM?
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