What do you do?

What do you do when you find out something you so desperately wanted can't happen?
What do you do when you have turned it all over to God and His answer isn't what you want to hear?
What do you do when you have shared with everyone your faith in something and then it doesn't happen?
What do you do when your children have believed with you for this miracle?
The only answer is to keep Trusting.....Trust in the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your strength and lean not on your own understanding but in all ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.

God has a plan for us. I know that he has a plan because my heart believes. The girls are already in state custody so the only way we could even have a chance to get them is by completing the classes, home study and paperwork for the state. We don't have all that done. So the other day I talk to the caseworker, I find this out. What a day....it felt as though my heart had exploded. Every part of my being just ached like some bad disease had taken me over. As I sat on my couch, trying to let all this soak in....thoughts begin to fill my mind. What am I going to tell Clinton? What about my the boys, my parents all the people that prayed for us? How am I going to walk in faith again? In that moment, God spoke to me and said, "I am with you." I don't have to worry about any of it, He is going to give me the strength to get through it ALL....Tears come daily but every day I feel stronger knowing God is in control.

Clinton came all the way home that day from Marshall to be here so we could tell the boys together. What a guy! As he told them his words were so calming and reassuring. So all of us sat there knowing that God is in control. That no matter how much it hurts right now, we can be strong in knowing God will direct our path.

A friend of mine shared something with me a few weeks ago. It's like going through adoption can be much like just finding out you are pregnant and then having a miscarriage. No, we weren't physically pregnant but our hearts were just as vunerable. It may be scary next time but it doesn't mean it can't happen.

No one knows why things may not happen like you so want them to but God does. We can't question that. Do we question Him when things go good? No, we take the blessing and enjoy it and know how powerful He is. Well, we need to take that same trust that we have through the good answers and know that the so called bad answers come from Him, too. So how could it be bad? How could something that you have turned over to Him, be bad?? This is where your faith is truly built. Not when you get every answer you expect or desire but to know that even when you don't hear what you want to hear, you keep trusting. So every day, I will set my feet on the ground and know that God is with me. There will be a day that we will hold our little girl and completely embrace the how mighty and powerful God is because she came from Him.

We have to keep believing, trusting, knowing that God will make a way. I can't give up on Him, He never gives up on me. It would be a lot easier to give up and just take it all over and do what I wanted to do.What good does that do me but believe that I have some type of power in all this? I am so thankful that I finally realized what the love of God is all about and how much power we have as His children.

I will praise you Lord in the bad times. I will praise you in the good times. I will in all ways acknowledge your goodness and mercy and know that You will be with me every step that I take. You will give me strength to trust, so in the end all my praises will shout your blessed name!