Thank you!

First of all we have to say thank you. You will never know how much it means for the encouraging words that we have received from many of you that have supported us as we journey through adoption. God truly shines when you are willing to see His work. Each day he offers us comfort in knowing that He is in control. Even though we feel like "we" don't have a plan, which is so unlike most things we have ever done. We have the peace in knowing "it's all God!"

Well it's almost Thurs....and we are so hoping to hear from the birth mom by end of this week. Sept.10th is just around the corner so there is not a lot of time before we know what's going to happen. I have to say I feel at peace and then my heart really begins to show and I cry. I'm really scared....really scared...because I know that no matter how much we want this, that if God doesn't we have to be willing to accept that. That's really hard. But I don't want to focus on that. I refuse to focus on that because the Word tells me other wise. It's so great to be able to go to the Word and receive the comfort that you need at that time.

Tonight I went in to tuck the boys in. Each of them was reading their Bible. I had to wait for a minute to go in because tears were falling...what a true delight in seeing God take residence in their hearts! The cool thing about it all is I've haven't requested or asked them to read their Bible. They made the decision. God is so good. God rewards those that dilegently seek Him. That's one of the first verses that I begin to share with the boys about a year ago. Not for monetary or physical reasons but for overall "well being". Happiness, joy, peace all the fruits of the Spirit! Boy does He offer a great rewards program! My hope for each of you is that you take the time to go cash those rewards in!!!!

Peace and joy to all of you! God is good!

The girls....

Well, I spoke with the mom. It was a good conversation and I thank God that I was able to talk to her. It's a step forward in what seems to be a very complex situation. Adoption, that is.....it's just not so cut and dry. You really open your heart up to being completely vulnerable and that's scary. It's like you go into the whole thing with the final picture of you and your "new addition or additions" and of course that picture is beautiful. But reality is there's quite a process getting there. We've cried, we've jumped for joy, we've sat in bewilderment, we've prayed, we've shared, we've probably had every emotion there is....That's a lot to go through but each day God reveals to me the amazing, indescribable, all encompassing LOVE he gives! So I'm thankful for the tears and the fears, I'm thankful for completely understanding what it means to love with no bounds.

When I spoke with "the mom" it was very clear that she is bitter and hurt...all the feelings you'd expect....but even though we are so different, there was that one common thing, a mother's love, that we both share. Even though their situation isn't the best, they still love their girls....and I believe that my heart has enough room to not only love those girls but I can love the mom and dad. I can share those girls with them, if that's what God has planned. Many folks question my judgement on this...and that is completely understandable. But you know...God has placed everything in me that it will take to do this. I can't help but think being adopted myself has offered me a different perspective that many might not have when faced with this, on behalf of the the girls and the parents.

So now it's all up to God to finish what he has started.... For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:10 So now we wait with expectation and boldly proclaim that He alone is God. With prayers of intercession, we believe God can move mountains, heal the sick and set the captives free. Hannah cried out in anguish for a son. Her womb was barren...God gave her a son. What if she had never asked, it may not have ever happened.

If you have something in your heart and you've pushed it down for years and it's still there. God placed it there for a reason. Step out in faith and believe that with Him all things are possible. You have to prepared to grow though...He wants us to totally rely on Him. So, that dying to self is hard but in the end we can all shout praises to Him!!

Some news!

Well, it's been exactly 20 days since we found about the lead on the 2 girls! It honestly doesn't even seem that long. OK, once I really think about it all it may seem like that! So I get news today that the mom of the 2 girls would like for me to call her TOMORROW!!!! This is exactly what we've been waiting for....an opportunity to talk to her. As you can imagine, I probably will be counting down the hours, minutes, seconds until tomorrow.

What do I even say when I call? What do you say to a mom that is having to a make a decision of this magnitude? My prayer is that God has already shown her our hearts! There are no words to describe the feelings that we are feeling!

So until tomorrow.
God is good.

Scared

Did I ever tell you I was scared?? Well, now you know. I'm so scared. I want this more than words could ever describe but I also know that sometimes God has different plans for us. My heart believes that those girls should be with us. Every part of me desires to be their mom, but then that little voice in my head keeps reminding me that it might not happen.

I've never met them nor seen what they look like but it doesn't take me long to imagine them. For so long, it seemed as though our plans were for 1 little girl. That was it and then SUPRISE the idea of possibly 2! We never even flinched, we all were in agreement that we could do 2! Somehow, it's not hard to think that God realizes how much love we have waiting for this little one that he might just bless us with 2 little girls! (Atleast that is what my heart feels and believes.

So I cry and I wait and I cry some more. It's hard to surrender and relinquish all control but somehow I find myself just lying in His arms. That's quite comforting, ecspecially when you don't know if the amount of children you have may double! :) So I cry a little bit and then I wipe away the tears and come to the realization that my God has it all figured out. So I can't deny that I'm scared, I bet Sarah was scared when she found out and I bet she really didn't even believe it could be true at first but you know what it happened. I wonder if she stayed up till early morning just wondering...thinking...believeing....

We love because He first loved us. 1 John 4:19

Isn't it amazing just to totally rely upon the love of the Lord? To completely grasp His amazing love. It's taken 35 years plus for me to get it and some days I want to argue with Him...How can you love me that much? How could you give up your only Son? I am not worthy! But then I look at all the blessings around me and know that they come from Him. Unbelievable. We all have it! Have you realized how great His love is for you today? If you haven't take a look at your children or grandchildren's eyes, look at the food in your fridge, the clothes on your back, your health, all of it because He loves us. Not because of what we have done or what we do for Him but JUST BECAUSE! It doesn't get any better than that!

Surely GOODNESS AND MERCY WILL FOLLOW me ALL the days of my life and I will DWELL IN THE LORD'S HOUSE FOREVER!! Psalms 23. How cool is that! Goodness and mercy FOLLOWS us! And, we can dwell in the Lord's house FOREVER!! That means right here, right now we've got it! Don't let today pass without checking out His gooddness and mercy and sit down in that easy chair for a minute and grasp where you are and whose you are! God is good.

Waiting on the Lord

No news, really....just that we must wait. We must wait and see if the birth parents are willing to give up their girls before actual rights are terminated. We don't have the Pride classes taken that we would need if they do wait till the termination hearing and then the girls will be placed with the state for adoption. We really don't believe God wants us rushing around trying to MAKE it happen! If we did that it would be of us and not of God. I'm so glad we realize that now. It's hard though, not to want to just start doing everything we can to get them...then what?? We still have the possibility that it might not happen. Why go and make ourselves miserable to make something happen? Been there, done that before! Haven't we all??!! Isn't it great we really can rest in His care. That we have the blessed assurance that Jesus is right with us, that His glory will be revealed if we choose Him....

Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. Psalms something...Not the best on the book and verse...my friend says just say, "It is written!" Anyway...God knows the desires of our heart. So we just know that we know that we know....that His plan is ultimately much more than we could ever dream!! We've let it be known, we've spoke it, we stood in agreement, so now we wait....We will wait upon the Lord, we will renew our strength, we will mount on wings like eagles, we will run and not be weary and walk and not faint!

So Tuesday I get the daily devotional email from Joel Osteen. If you've never listened to him or read any of his books. You should! Got lots of his books, so if you'd like to borrow, let me know! Anyway, this devotional was Isaiah 48:3

I foretold the former things long ago, my mouth announced them and I made them known; then suddenly I acted, and they came to pass.

We had the desire, we came in agreement, we told folks, we stepped out in faith, it took us a while but we began the process.....THEN THERE'S GOD!

We just pray that the girl's family embrace our Savior Jesus Christ, that they open their heart to His love and through that love He will guide them. No matter what the plan may be, ultimately we pray for the salvation, the true adoption from the Lord to this family! That the fullnesss of his grace and mercy chase them down and overtake them. It's with shouts of praise and adoration for Jesus Christ we pray Amen!!!

Trust

Trust- to place confidence. Abraham, Noah, Sarah, Rahab....just a few folks that decided to place confidence in God! We are asking for the same trust that they possesed! Can you imagine the faith it took to trust in God back then? Something that the physical eyes could not see but God had already placed what was necessary to complete His plan in each of these people, they had to make the choice to step out in faith. And, now we have the Word that shares with us each of their stories. Think about them, they didn't have the Bible to go to. What men and women of faith they were. I'm so thankful for the Word and blessed to know that God is so good!

As for God His way is PERFECT, the word of the Lord is tried: he is a buckler to all those that trust Him. Ps. 18:30

But I trusted in thee oh God, Oh Lord; I said Thou art my God. Ps.31:14

Blessed is the man who trust in the Lord who puts his confidence in Him. Jer. 17:7

We come to you God trusting that Your plan will come to pass. We come boldly to your throne and say we trust in You alone!

Pray

Can't share much....because we don't know much.....we have a lead on a possible adoption. 2 little girls. I'm not going to go into much detail because I don't know a whole lot. Of course, you can imagine our thoughts are running wild! But there is a sense of calmness of peace, the great thing is we don't have to figure it out. God is already working it out. That's pretty cool. Boy, His plans are so much more than we could have ever dreamed of, but you know what that only makes us realize more and more that HE ALONE IS GOD.

Our request is for those of you that read this join us in our prayer that God's will be done. The day Clinton and I came in agreement about adopting, God's plan began to spin in motion.

Our prayer is,
"Dear Lord, we come to you with complete surrender. Only you know the desires of our heart and we pray that whatever your will is that it be done. We know that you realize we are ready and waiting so we ask that you have favor on the timing and make it happen as quick as it can. We pray that you keep our daughter or daughters safe right now. We ask that you give complete peace to those that love them during this time of decision. That they will sense the amazing love that these girls will be getting the rest of their lives by choosing the gift of adoption. You alone can fulfill our needs Lord and we pray that you keep our minds still as we wait. You are mighty and your are amazing. We've turned it all over to you and we thank you for what you have done for our family and for what you are going to do! All praises go to you, Our Father. We pray this prayer in the name of Jesus,Amen, and Amen!"

I'll share with you a prayer from a friend, please join us as we lift our prayers up to our Father.

“Lord, for Clinton and Paige Evans and family, I claim your peace and protection, your understanding and grace. I claim for them, that you deliver your blessings unto them and their daughter or daughters unto them. I pray that the people you choose to use as tools open their hearts and put their faith in you in order that your will be done, father. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

We look to Him for complete guidance and understanding. God is good.

Beauty for Ashes

One of my favorite passages is Isaiah 61. In that passage it speaks of God's love for us and the amazing favor we can receive if we just proclaim "our priesthood". For many years I was bound by what this world calls normalcy" if you don't have some form of impatience, some form of trouble that brings you down, some lack of joy because you aren't happy enough....the world thinks you are crazy.

Folks speak "negative" words daily, "That's to be expected, things like this happen to me all the time", or "My mom had cancer, so now I wouldn't doubt that I'm going to get it", " or "Yep, we're just barely getting by"....all that negative talk. Until about a year or so ago, the importance of positive words has never become quite so clear as it did when I begin to welcome the presence of the Holy Spirit.

There's absolutely no way a person can have the complete fullness of what Jesus Christ has to offer unless they get these negative thoughts and words out of their lives. I really never considered myself a negative person per say, but I know that negative thoughts clouded my mind probably every day. That's Satan's hold on us. He knows that we all strive to have the "perfect" life. Gosh, that goes all the way back to Adam and Eve. They had it made and then boom they wanted more, Eve couldn't stand the thought that there was possibly something "more". God knew that after that day the only way we could ever completely understand the true "fullness" that He alone can offer was to give His Son Jesus Christ.

Everyday I encourage you to ask Jesus into your heart. Don't just take it for granted each day you wake up that you are prepared for this world just because you are a Christian. We are to be renewed every day with the Holy Spirit. Don't get stuck in a rut, don't just accept what has been.....strive for that which is new and glorious. God's unfailing love! With faith, ask God to show you more. More of His fullness, not more "stuff" because all that "stuff" will never fill the void that only He can.

As I read the passage, giving beauty for ashes ....it just keeps resenating with me. When you think about ashes- think about the big pile of stuff that accumulates in your live fear, judgment, resentment, pride all that stuff that weighs us down. Pile that stuff up and let it burn! The symbolism of the ashes is amazing. He knew we would have to let it get to be ashes before we would let it go. It's like that piece of wood, you can't see it once it's been set on fire and burnt to ashes. Let all that "stuff" burn till all they are the ashes that remain. Don't leave any of it sitting around. Set it afire with the love that God alone provides. Then take a look at those ashes and know that God wants to turn them into something beautiful.

God wants more for us than we can ever imagine. Our plans look pitiful compared to what He wants to do in our lives. Ask for His fullness. Become a strong "Priest of the Lord". It's not about what we've done wrong in our lives it's about what we can do right with Jesus Christ!