LAST CLASS!!

Saturday was it....last class! A few things still do to....but we are much closer to having a child or children placed with us. We aren't rushing it though. The house will be done in probably 1 month or so...HOPEFULLY! And we will then schedule our final home visit.

The last class was amazing. We met a foster family and an adoptive family. The story from the adoptive family was so moving. They have adopted 3 children! A sibling group, 2 and 4 at the time of adoption. Then most recently, a little boy that was supposed to be 6 months but when they went to pick him up he was 6 weeks!!! Their whole story was such a God thing....And they praise Him for working in their lives. It was AWESOME!!! I cried, Cliton teared up...I think everyone teared up. The foster mom came with her little one she's had for 6 or so months, the little girl is 9 months old now. The birth mom does not make visits and is pregnant again. The reality of what's going on in our world today. I can't help but think that the young girl is just searching for love...and and is looking for it in all the wrong places.

Haven't we all looked for that love in all the wrong places....jobs, partying, shopping, all that. Does it ever fill us up? No? Does it ever provide the comfort and joy and peace that we all are looking for? No. The only place that we will ever experience true love and true acceptance is through Jesus Christ. People fail us, we fail ourselves....but He is never failing. He is forever faithful. There's a song called, "A God Shaped Hole". We all have a hole, he created us that way...so we would look to Him.

God is so good. Are you letting Him fill your hole?

Time.....

Have you ever wondered why just all of a sudden you can look up and your old! :) How about the fact your kiddos just started to walk and now they are almost teenagers! Even better, how could it just be the beginning of 2008 and somehow we are in December!!! Time is flying by....

Class this Sat. and then the final one on the 13th. One step closer in being approved through the state. We still have to do our CPR class and I still have to fill out SOME MORE paperwork the state needs. NO FUN!!! But it will all be worth it when our new family member joins us.

I saw a little ornament today and it said, "two more feet added to the "let's just say the Evans" family." My heart swelled up with love and smiles- I guess your heart can smile....anyway, I was happy! Everyday, is one day closer. Still not sure when or how but I remain faithful to God because he is ALWAYS faithful to me.

In probably the most busiest time of the year, Enjoy! Family & Friends. Don't try filling your time up so much that you miss out on the important stuff! You know exactly what I mean!!! LOL!

Please pray that we remain steadfast and true to His word and His guidance. Sometimes I want to take it over and do something! So I need a little help with that, too. Pray we don't grow weary in this journey. Sometimes the ole devil wants to creep in and tell me that it will never happen. I'm crazy to even think we will ever get a little girl. Even so much as that I need to quit talking about it, cause people are beginning to think you are crazy...for believing for all this and like looking to God to make it happen. He says all that, sometimes daily!!! You know all that negative stuff. But I know, that I know, that I know -God is the Author and Finisher of of our faith. It is written! Our faith believes that one day we will hold that sweet child. Our family stands in agreement and we will not be moved!

Winter Jam!

Last year we attended our first ever Winter Jam in Little Rock, AR. It was AMAZING!!! If you are a lover of music, YOU MUST ATTEND! Where else can you pay $10 bucks to see such great headliners like Toby Mac, Brandon Heath and other great bands! Last year they had MercyMe, Mandissa, BarlowGirl and Skillet. The boys LOVED Skillet! (They Rock it out!!)

Last year thousands dedicated or rededicated their lives to Christ that night! Since I'm older and the mind doesn't retain as much information as it used to....I CAN'T REMEMBER HOW MANY!! But it was A LOT!!! Praise God! And like 4,000 orphan children recieved help from Holt International, the national sponsor, of Winter Jam.

This year the concert is on Feb. 6th! So mark your calendar. Email or call me if you want to know more about it 870-321-1222 or cpevans@yellville.net. My hope is that we get so many folks wanting to go we have to take bus loads!! My boys are already inviting their friends! What a great opportunity for our children to be ministered to and a fun night for all!

PRIDE Classes

Well we've went through 2 class sessions with 4 more to go. They have been both interestingly informative and helpful...not just with the foster/adopt process but understanding child behavior and the very sad reality of what many of the children in our community, state and nation our faced with every day.

The foster system in Arkansas is committed to reunification. I guess you'd say it is a catch 22 in most cases. So many of these parents don't know how to parent and because of poor choices,bad decisions and what I call generational curses...their children never have a chance to have what we know as a normal family life.

It is with heartfelt prayer that I pray our Lord will look down and protect these children and give them peace and strength in their time of need. We as Christians need to understand our responsibility to these lost souls. I know that many of you aren't called to adopt. But, please think of a way that you, your family, your church family could offer some hope to these children.

Thank you Lord for guiding and directing our path. Thank you for knowing our every step. We turn to you and know that you are the Author and Finisher of our faith. You know our every step before we even think about it. I pray that we continually search for your guidance and wisdom. Bless the lost children here and every where. May a people rise up to embrace them and offer them the same hope that you have given us. Open our hearts Lord that we feel your Spirit and act on your call. May we all become more obedient, loving and faithful. Your Son's blood has made us free, healed and blessed beyond measure. Let us bless each other. Amen and Amen!

God is good- ALL THE TIME!

I love Jesus!

I love Jesus. I love His ability to take something bad and make it good. I love His soft whisper when I feel beyond dispare. I love His loving way when I want to get really mad. I love Him. He loves me. Not one thing do I have to do but to sit right beside Him and soak it in. I don't have to recite memory verses. I don't have to know all the bible stories. I don't even have to do everything right. He loves me, no matter what.

Do we love no matter what? Or do we store it all up? Do we play it over and over in our minds? Do we keep blaming? Do we keep hashing it up? Until we can love no matter what, we will never understand how utterly amazing His love is for us. Or even better let's grasp how amazing and forgiving our Savior is and use that freedom in loving others. I LOVE JESUS!

Next step

Today a guy from DHS comes to inspect the house. Hopefully, he can overlook the fact we are living like sardines in here. Our house will be done in about 2 months. Praise God!!! Anyway, our paperwork is approved and this is the final step in approval for attending class. We will begin the Foster/Adopt PRIDE Classes in Harrison Sat. Every Sat. for the next 6 weeks! After that, we will just wait. Boy there is a lot of waiting....

It's been a long time coming and we feel really good about pursing this option. We still have the international adoption option as well as a private adoption (if that may come available). International just doesn't seem right because of the expense. We know that God does not want this to be financially burdensome on us and just the initial amount to get started is something we could not afford. Now we may win the lottery tomorrow. Oops, you have to play the lottery, to win, right?! Anyway..we may come into lots of money at some point, and then we'd know. But for now, this is where we stand.

We are all very excited. The boys helped me clean and then this morning they were so excited. He's coming today right? You start classes Sat, right? Can we get a sister right after you're done with classes? I just love it. I'm afraid when this little girl or girls gets here, she's going to be so spoiled it won't be funny. She will definetly have the love and I'm sure a just a few pink things!!

Please pray for the children in foster care. Please pray that God will move on those that want to do something but may be scared of the process. Children are waiting. They need homes. God is good.

What do you see?

It's funny as I sat doing online banking tonight...I started feeling an overwhelming sense of peace and joy. Not quite sure how that happened looking at online banking but it did and it wasn't because a bunch of zeros were line up behind my balance! It was an overwhelming feeling!!! Like God had put His hand directly in mine and said, "Come here, I want to show you something!" So here I am sitting in my chair in my little, messy office with God right here by me! Tears begin to just fall and I just got happy all over...I see our little girl!! He showed me her face, her little hands, he gave me peace that she is there. Now don't get me wrong, I've pictured her before...but tonight it was different. It was Him showing me her, reminding me that He is the Author and Finisher of my faith! As I try and type...I can't even put it in to words. Except...God is so good.

Now don't get me wrong...boy I'd love to have her right now, I'd love to know that this "plan" was laid out and I had my timeline in place....but I don't....no timeline, no plan....just faith...Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen. Don't you just love that verse!!! Our God will never loose faith in us, let's not loose faith in Him.

So what do you see in your faith eyes?

By faith Abraham, even though he was past age -- and Sarah herself was barren -- was enabled to become a father because he considered him faithful who had made the promise. Hebrews 11:11.

Starving or Full?

We've been attending this great little church up on the hill here in Yellville. The Spirit is moving in a mighty way within that body of believers. We are blessed to have been led there so we can be fed His word. It would be hard to even begin to share with you the Spirit moving testimonies, sermons and ministries at work but I will try my best to give you just a glimpse of a dream that was spoke about Wednesday night.

Picture if you will walking in to a room where a huge table is prepared and in the middle of that table there is a large pot of homemade stew just waiting to be devoured and enjoyed. Now around that table are all these people, but they are as skinny as a rail. They are looking around at each other wondering how they were ever going to enjoy the stew. Because you see these spoons were so long they could not feed themselves. There arms were too short to hold the spoon to their mouths.

Now let's move to another room and as you open the door you witness a room full of people, they are fattened and overjoyed with the abundance of food...They were picking up the spoons and enjoying every bite...What's the difference, you ask? They were picking up their spoons and feeding EACH OTHER! Chill bumps rise up all over me as I recall hearing this Wed. night. They got it! They realized that it's not about trying to feed yourself. That if you will pick up the spoon and feed another, maybe just maybe you can realize YOU WILL GET FED!! Isn't it amazing how we can get so caught up "ME"! But when it comes to really getting "fattened up with the Love of God", we miss out because we are so busy trying to feed ourselves we forget about feeding each other. Bearing one anothers burdens, loving others as Christ loved us, feeding each other!

Never before have I even came close to grasping the amazing love in freedom we have in our Maker, our Creator, our FRIEND! He's not something that we look up to and just imagine how great it's going to be when we see Him and get to Heaven. (Now, don't get me wrong that is going to be great....) He's available to us every minute, every hour, every day. Right here beside us. Calling us Friend. We have the same authority in Him today as we will when we stand with Him face to face. The great thing though is we can enjoy all that "Loving" right now. Loving each other, Loving Him....picking up that spoon and feeding each other.

Lord, I pray that we can all look for ways to pick up that spoon and feed one another. May we use the gifts and blessings you give us to help each other. May we love one another so that through that love they will know we are your disciples...BECAUSE WE LOVE ONE ANOTHER!

I just love you Lord and I pray that your love will grab hold of every person that reads this and not let go! We all make it very hard...I made it very hard for too long...it was always to hard...all that wanting to be perfect for You...Lord, I thank you for sending Your Son, I thank you for bearing it all so I could be free, I thank you for your love. It is my prayer that we all start "fattening" up on your stew! Let's start looking across the aisle, the girl sitting alone at the ballgame, the lonely man across the street. Let's quit lying complacent and DO SOMETHING!!!

It's turned in!

The paperwork is in DHS hands! I called about the Adoption/Foster PRIDE Classes that are offered through The CALL in Little Rock. Problem is they are only offered to Pulaski and Lonoke County residents. After emailing back and forth with the director a few times, it became quite apparent that The Call needs to come to our area. I won't bore you with all the details but when things happen and those little "ironic" moments come up, it's hard not deny that those are "God things" as now I like to refer to them. I think about all the times I missed the "God things" in my life.....those little nudges, phone calls, signs that he sent and I refused to listen because I had a plan!!! Boy, I'm so glad that I don't have to plan it all anymore. That was tiring..... :)

God is so good. The cool thing is that He will lead us if we just ask Him. Ask and it shall be given, seek and you shall find, knock and door shall be opened. Never quite understood the power from these words!

So anyway, The Call is an awesome Spirit led program that helps simplify the foster/adopt process by offering the classes 2 weekends in a month and your done. Right now, I'm continuing to pray for guidance. I sure don't need just another thing to do but I do want to do what God has called me to do. He prepares us daily to do Kingdom work. We just have to not live in fear and go for it. I've learned that lots of times He is just waiting for me to take the one step in faith. So just pray that I listen to Him and what will bring Him the most glory.

I can't help but think that there are more families in this community that don't have 10 weeks to commit to PRIDE Classes. How great would it be to open the door to many that may have never felt like they could commit to all that but would be interested in giving a child a home. It gets pretty emotional for me as I begin to think about the many children that are lost in the system. 35 years ago...I was one of those children but I was fortunate enough that I found my forever family. These children do not ask for this....they didn't ask to be brought into this world and then just set to the side like some unwanted pair of shoes that no one wants anymore. Each of these children have things in them that are just waiting to flower but like any seed if it's never watered it will die and never be what it was called to be. That breaks my heart. I could have been one of those kids....It's very important that I now use what God has placed inside of me to do His work not just to satisfy my needs (did that way too long). So if you don't mind pray that God will move in a mighty way to help the children in our community as well as across the nation. That folks will begin to stand up and offer their hearts to adoption or foster care.

May each of us look at the cards we have been dealt (good and bad) and really search for what God has given us. What is your heart's desire?

It's time.....

Tomorrow we go and get our fingerprints done. Then I'm taking the paperwork to Mtn. Home for the foster/adopt program. I was looking on the internet and found they are doing the PRIDE classes in Little Rock at a church on a Sat-Sun THAT'S IT! We were thinking it might be 10 weeks to complete the classes. We weren't sure how that was going to fit in the schedule..... So finding these classes is a true God send! He never ceases to amaze me. So we are excited! Keep praying that we look to Him and stay in His will. It's so much easier that way. At least the work part of it....patience does not come quite as easy. Choosing peace and patience and all that, it so much better than turmoil and question and indecision. I just love God!!!

Fighting Battles

Don't we all face them. Battles? Whether it be mentally, financially or physically, each of us are faced with our own battles. As I think about what to do when faced with adversity, pain, heartache it's hard not to see how the world expects us to react. Many of these battles just show up, and sometimes they linger for a while. That gets hard when you feel like you keep running in circles trying to escape it. We have a choice though....A choice to proclaim freedom and love over them or we have the choice to let them permantely set up residence in our mind and our heart.

The story of Jehoshaphat is one of my favorite stories. Jehoshaphat was faced with a battle that seemed like it could never be won. He listened though, he waited and believed. He praised the Lord and watched as the enemy was defeated right before his eyes. Let us learn from Jehoshaphat! God is prepared and ready to fight our battles for us. We just have to get to the point that we become reliant on Him. Then we have to begin to praise Him for what he has done for us and what he is going to do!

We can't let the battles of life take us over. We have to remain couragous and trust. Pray for courage over your situations. Then walk in faith. Faith is not something that we have to acquire, it merely shows up up when you believe in our God! God is good!

What do you do?

What do you do when you find out something you so desperately wanted can't happen?
What do you do when you have turned it all over to God and His answer isn't what you want to hear?
What do you do when you have shared with everyone your faith in something and then it doesn't happen?
What do you do when your children have believed with you for this miracle?
The only answer is to keep Trusting.....Trust in the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your strength and lean not on your own understanding but in all ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.

God has a plan for us. I know that he has a plan because my heart believes. The girls are already in state custody so the only way we could even have a chance to get them is by completing the classes, home study and paperwork for the state. We don't have all that done. So the other day I talk to the caseworker, I find this out. What a day....it felt as though my heart had exploded. Every part of my being just ached like some bad disease had taken me over. As I sat on my couch, trying to let all this soak in....thoughts begin to fill my mind. What am I going to tell Clinton? What about my the boys, my parents all the people that prayed for us? How am I going to walk in faith again? In that moment, God spoke to me and said, "I am with you." I don't have to worry about any of it, He is going to give me the strength to get through it ALL....Tears come daily but every day I feel stronger knowing God is in control.

Clinton came all the way home that day from Marshall to be here so we could tell the boys together. What a guy! As he told them his words were so calming and reassuring. So all of us sat there knowing that God is in control. That no matter how much it hurts right now, we can be strong in knowing God will direct our path.

A friend of mine shared something with me a few weeks ago. It's like going through adoption can be much like just finding out you are pregnant and then having a miscarriage. No, we weren't physically pregnant but our hearts were just as vunerable. It may be scary next time but it doesn't mean it can't happen.

No one knows why things may not happen like you so want them to but God does. We can't question that. Do we question Him when things go good? No, we take the blessing and enjoy it and know how powerful He is. Well, we need to take that same trust that we have through the good answers and know that the so called bad answers come from Him, too. So how could it be bad? How could something that you have turned over to Him, be bad?? This is where your faith is truly built. Not when you get every answer you expect or desire but to know that even when you don't hear what you want to hear, you keep trusting. So every day, I will set my feet on the ground and know that God is with me. There will be a day that we will hold our little girl and completely embrace the how mighty and powerful God is because she came from Him.

We have to keep believing, trusting, knowing that God will make a way. I can't give up on Him, He never gives up on me. It would be a lot easier to give up and just take it all over and do what I wanted to do.What good does that do me but believe that I have some type of power in all this? I am so thankful that I finally realized what the love of God is all about and how much power we have as His children.

I will praise you Lord in the bad times. I will praise you in the good times. I will in all ways acknowledge your goodness and mercy and know that You will be with me every step that I take. You will give me strength to trust, so in the end all my praises will shout your blessed name!

Thank you!

First of all we have to say thank you. You will never know how much it means for the encouraging words that we have received from many of you that have supported us as we journey through adoption. God truly shines when you are willing to see His work. Each day he offers us comfort in knowing that He is in control. Even though we feel like "we" don't have a plan, which is so unlike most things we have ever done. We have the peace in knowing "it's all God!"

Well it's almost Thurs....and we are so hoping to hear from the birth mom by end of this week. Sept.10th is just around the corner so there is not a lot of time before we know what's going to happen. I have to say I feel at peace and then my heart really begins to show and I cry. I'm really scared....really scared...because I know that no matter how much we want this, that if God doesn't we have to be willing to accept that. That's really hard. But I don't want to focus on that. I refuse to focus on that because the Word tells me other wise. It's so great to be able to go to the Word and receive the comfort that you need at that time.

Tonight I went in to tuck the boys in. Each of them was reading their Bible. I had to wait for a minute to go in because tears were falling...what a true delight in seeing God take residence in their hearts! The cool thing about it all is I've haven't requested or asked them to read their Bible. They made the decision. God is so good. God rewards those that dilegently seek Him. That's one of the first verses that I begin to share with the boys about a year ago. Not for monetary or physical reasons but for overall "well being". Happiness, joy, peace all the fruits of the Spirit! Boy does He offer a great rewards program! My hope for each of you is that you take the time to go cash those rewards in!!!!

Peace and joy to all of you! God is good!

The girls....

Well, I spoke with the mom. It was a good conversation and I thank God that I was able to talk to her. It's a step forward in what seems to be a very complex situation. Adoption, that is.....it's just not so cut and dry. You really open your heart up to being completely vulnerable and that's scary. It's like you go into the whole thing with the final picture of you and your "new addition or additions" and of course that picture is beautiful. But reality is there's quite a process getting there. We've cried, we've jumped for joy, we've sat in bewilderment, we've prayed, we've shared, we've probably had every emotion there is....That's a lot to go through but each day God reveals to me the amazing, indescribable, all encompassing LOVE he gives! So I'm thankful for the tears and the fears, I'm thankful for completely understanding what it means to love with no bounds.

When I spoke with "the mom" it was very clear that she is bitter and hurt...all the feelings you'd expect....but even though we are so different, there was that one common thing, a mother's love, that we both share. Even though their situation isn't the best, they still love their girls....and I believe that my heart has enough room to not only love those girls but I can love the mom and dad. I can share those girls with them, if that's what God has planned. Many folks question my judgement on this...and that is completely understandable. But you know...God has placed everything in me that it will take to do this. I can't help but think being adopted myself has offered me a different perspective that many might not have when faced with this, on behalf of the the girls and the parents.

So now it's all up to God to finish what he has started.... For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:10 So now we wait with expectation and boldly proclaim that He alone is God. With prayers of intercession, we believe God can move mountains, heal the sick and set the captives free. Hannah cried out in anguish for a son. Her womb was barren...God gave her a son. What if she had never asked, it may not have ever happened.

If you have something in your heart and you've pushed it down for years and it's still there. God placed it there for a reason. Step out in faith and believe that with Him all things are possible. You have to prepared to grow though...He wants us to totally rely on Him. So, that dying to self is hard but in the end we can all shout praises to Him!!

Some news!

Well, it's been exactly 20 days since we found about the lead on the 2 girls! It honestly doesn't even seem that long. OK, once I really think about it all it may seem like that! So I get news today that the mom of the 2 girls would like for me to call her TOMORROW!!!! This is exactly what we've been waiting for....an opportunity to talk to her. As you can imagine, I probably will be counting down the hours, minutes, seconds until tomorrow.

What do I even say when I call? What do you say to a mom that is having to a make a decision of this magnitude? My prayer is that God has already shown her our hearts! There are no words to describe the feelings that we are feeling!

So until tomorrow.
God is good.

Scared

Did I ever tell you I was scared?? Well, now you know. I'm so scared. I want this more than words could ever describe but I also know that sometimes God has different plans for us. My heart believes that those girls should be with us. Every part of me desires to be their mom, but then that little voice in my head keeps reminding me that it might not happen.

I've never met them nor seen what they look like but it doesn't take me long to imagine them. For so long, it seemed as though our plans were for 1 little girl. That was it and then SUPRISE the idea of possibly 2! We never even flinched, we all were in agreement that we could do 2! Somehow, it's not hard to think that God realizes how much love we have waiting for this little one that he might just bless us with 2 little girls! (Atleast that is what my heart feels and believes.

So I cry and I wait and I cry some more. It's hard to surrender and relinquish all control but somehow I find myself just lying in His arms. That's quite comforting, ecspecially when you don't know if the amount of children you have may double! :) So I cry a little bit and then I wipe away the tears and come to the realization that my God has it all figured out. So I can't deny that I'm scared, I bet Sarah was scared when she found out and I bet she really didn't even believe it could be true at first but you know what it happened. I wonder if she stayed up till early morning just wondering...thinking...believeing....

We love because He first loved us. 1 John 4:19

Isn't it amazing just to totally rely upon the love of the Lord? To completely grasp His amazing love. It's taken 35 years plus for me to get it and some days I want to argue with Him...How can you love me that much? How could you give up your only Son? I am not worthy! But then I look at all the blessings around me and know that they come from Him. Unbelievable. We all have it! Have you realized how great His love is for you today? If you haven't take a look at your children or grandchildren's eyes, look at the food in your fridge, the clothes on your back, your health, all of it because He loves us. Not because of what we have done or what we do for Him but JUST BECAUSE! It doesn't get any better than that!

Surely GOODNESS AND MERCY WILL FOLLOW me ALL the days of my life and I will DWELL IN THE LORD'S HOUSE FOREVER!! Psalms 23. How cool is that! Goodness and mercy FOLLOWS us! And, we can dwell in the Lord's house FOREVER!! That means right here, right now we've got it! Don't let today pass without checking out His gooddness and mercy and sit down in that easy chair for a minute and grasp where you are and whose you are! God is good.

Waiting on the Lord

No news, really....just that we must wait. We must wait and see if the birth parents are willing to give up their girls before actual rights are terminated. We don't have the Pride classes taken that we would need if they do wait till the termination hearing and then the girls will be placed with the state for adoption. We really don't believe God wants us rushing around trying to MAKE it happen! If we did that it would be of us and not of God. I'm so glad we realize that now. It's hard though, not to want to just start doing everything we can to get them...then what?? We still have the possibility that it might not happen. Why go and make ourselves miserable to make something happen? Been there, done that before! Haven't we all??!! Isn't it great we really can rest in His care. That we have the blessed assurance that Jesus is right with us, that His glory will be revealed if we choose Him....

Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. Psalms something...Not the best on the book and verse...my friend says just say, "It is written!" Anyway...God knows the desires of our heart. So we just know that we know that we know....that His plan is ultimately much more than we could ever dream!! We've let it be known, we've spoke it, we stood in agreement, so now we wait....We will wait upon the Lord, we will renew our strength, we will mount on wings like eagles, we will run and not be weary and walk and not faint!

So Tuesday I get the daily devotional email from Joel Osteen. If you've never listened to him or read any of his books. You should! Got lots of his books, so if you'd like to borrow, let me know! Anyway, this devotional was Isaiah 48:3

I foretold the former things long ago, my mouth announced them and I made them known; then suddenly I acted, and they came to pass.

We had the desire, we came in agreement, we told folks, we stepped out in faith, it took us a while but we began the process.....THEN THERE'S GOD!

We just pray that the girl's family embrace our Savior Jesus Christ, that they open their heart to His love and through that love He will guide them. No matter what the plan may be, ultimately we pray for the salvation, the true adoption from the Lord to this family! That the fullnesss of his grace and mercy chase them down and overtake them. It's with shouts of praise and adoration for Jesus Christ we pray Amen!!!

Trust

Trust- to place confidence. Abraham, Noah, Sarah, Rahab....just a few folks that decided to place confidence in God! We are asking for the same trust that they possesed! Can you imagine the faith it took to trust in God back then? Something that the physical eyes could not see but God had already placed what was necessary to complete His plan in each of these people, they had to make the choice to step out in faith. And, now we have the Word that shares with us each of their stories. Think about them, they didn't have the Bible to go to. What men and women of faith they were. I'm so thankful for the Word and blessed to know that God is so good!

As for God His way is PERFECT, the word of the Lord is tried: he is a buckler to all those that trust Him. Ps. 18:30

But I trusted in thee oh God, Oh Lord; I said Thou art my God. Ps.31:14

Blessed is the man who trust in the Lord who puts his confidence in Him. Jer. 17:7

We come to you God trusting that Your plan will come to pass. We come boldly to your throne and say we trust in You alone!

Pray

Can't share much....because we don't know much.....we have a lead on a possible adoption. 2 little girls. I'm not going to go into much detail because I don't know a whole lot. Of course, you can imagine our thoughts are running wild! But there is a sense of calmness of peace, the great thing is we don't have to figure it out. God is already working it out. That's pretty cool. Boy, His plans are so much more than we could have ever dreamed of, but you know what that only makes us realize more and more that HE ALONE IS GOD.

Our request is for those of you that read this join us in our prayer that God's will be done. The day Clinton and I came in agreement about adopting, God's plan began to spin in motion.

Our prayer is,
"Dear Lord, we come to you with complete surrender. Only you know the desires of our heart and we pray that whatever your will is that it be done. We know that you realize we are ready and waiting so we ask that you have favor on the timing and make it happen as quick as it can. We pray that you keep our daughter or daughters safe right now. We ask that you give complete peace to those that love them during this time of decision. That they will sense the amazing love that these girls will be getting the rest of their lives by choosing the gift of adoption. You alone can fulfill our needs Lord and we pray that you keep our minds still as we wait. You are mighty and your are amazing. We've turned it all over to you and we thank you for what you have done for our family and for what you are going to do! All praises go to you, Our Father. We pray this prayer in the name of Jesus,Amen, and Amen!"

I'll share with you a prayer from a friend, please join us as we lift our prayers up to our Father.

“Lord, for Clinton and Paige Evans and family, I claim your peace and protection, your understanding and grace. I claim for them, that you deliver your blessings unto them and their daughter or daughters unto them. I pray that the people you choose to use as tools open their hearts and put their faith in you in order that your will be done, father. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

We look to Him for complete guidance and understanding. God is good.

Beauty for Ashes

One of my favorite passages is Isaiah 61. In that passage it speaks of God's love for us and the amazing favor we can receive if we just proclaim "our priesthood". For many years I was bound by what this world calls normalcy" if you don't have some form of impatience, some form of trouble that brings you down, some lack of joy because you aren't happy enough....the world thinks you are crazy.

Folks speak "negative" words daily, "That's to be expected, things like this happen to me all the time", or "My mom had cancer, so now I wouldn't doubt that I'm going to get it", " or "Yep, we're just barely getting by"....all that negative talk. Until about a year or so ago, the importance of positive words has never become quite so clear as it did when I begin to welcome the presence of the Holy Spirit.

There's absolutely no way a person can have the complete fullness of what Jesus Christ has to offer unless they get these negative thoughts and words out of their lives. I really never considered myself a negative person per say, but I know that negative thoughts clouded my mind probably every day. That's Satan's hold on us. He knows that we all strive to have the "perfect" life. Gosh, that goes all the way back to Adam and Eve. They had it made and then boom they wanted more, Eve couldn't stand the thought that there was possibly something "more". God knew that after that day the only way we could ever completely understand the true "fullness" that He alone can offer was to give His Son Jesus Christ.

Everyday I encourage you to ask Jesus into your heart. Don't just take it for granted each day you wake up that you are prepared for this world just because you are a Christian. We are to be renewed every day with the Holy Spirit. Don't get stuck in a rut, don't just accept what has been.....strive for that which is new and glorious. God's unfailing love! With faith, ask God to show you more. More of His fullness, not more "stuff" because all that "stuff" will never fill the void that only He can.

As I read the passage, giving beauty for ashes ....it just keeps resenating with me. When you think about ashes- think about the big pile of stuff that accumulates in your live fear, judgment, resentment, pride all that stuff that weighs us down. Pile that stuff up and let it burn! The symbolism of the ashes is amazing. He knew we would have to let it get to be ashes before we would let it go. It's like that piece of wood, you can't see it once it's been set on fire and burnt to ashes. Let all that "stuff" burn till all they are the ashes that remain. Don't leave any of it sitting around. Set it afire with the love that God alone provides. Then take a look at those ashes and know that God wants to turn them into something beautiful.

God wants more for us than we can ever imagine. Our plans look pitiful compared to what He wants to do in our lives. Ask for His fullness. Become a strong "Priest of the Lord". It's not about what we've done wrong in our lives it's about what we can do right with Jesus Christ!

We are almost done!!!

With the papework that is! We worked on Clinton's autobiographical statement today and I think we are almost done. I believe by Tuesday we can mail it all off to the Home Study agency and we will be on our way to the next step.

Now the home study is complete I can send in all the grant applications. There are so many grants out there and boy receiving any of them would be a tremendous blessing. As many know, our only reservation about adopting at all has been a financial question. We know that God will provide. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding. But in all ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths. Prov 3. We are dying here...boy wouldn't it be nice to know that the 28,000 was just sitting there waiting to be used but you know what? It's not there where we can see it but I believe it! I believe that God has His own little bank account waiting on us. Praise God!!! That he will work it out so that we can praise Him when we hold our little one in our arms! I cry as I write this because of just how amazing He is!!! God is good!

One thing that has become quite clear to me is that we have to stop eating out!!!! I was taking a look at our eating out for the last month or so and I believe we can free up some $$ if we will stick our hiney's at our kitchen table! Now grant it, that is going to be quite a bit harder to do than the average....since we LOVE to eat out. Don't quite know why..I really do love to cook....it's the cleaning up I hate...the boys better get their dish washing hands ready! Cause this momma means business, we've got to get this little girl home. How can we expect God for anything if we aren't using the money He provides to us wisely. Sorry God, going to have to get better at that!!

I am so very thankful for those that have prayed for us, that have given us that little word of encouragement during this time. Our strength has come from God and we so appreciate your prayers to Him! Isn't it great just to rest in His loving arms to know that He is our Father. To completely grasp the amazing power and authority we have as His children. To feel the amazing love that He gives even when we mess up! God is love! Now go and be love because where there is love, there is God!!!

There are those days....

There are those days that you just feel like you want to give up. You want to throw the towel in and say it's just too hard to figure it all out. Going back to the live in the flesh would be so much easier (or at least that's what the devil is telling me). But I know, I believe, that God loves me. He loves me for who I am- mistakes, shortcomings, failures, all of it.

I used to think I had the best freedom in the world. A good job, decent house, nice car, good paycheck, all that. Freedom to enjoy Fri. night, Sat. night. Sleeping in on Sun...all that, but never can I ever describe the unbelievable freedom there is in HIM!! The shackles are gone and I'm free in Him. So when I feel down, when I feel discouraged. I know that my God loves me. No more need for acceptance, no more need to judge, no more need to pretend. I am who I am. He is who He is! My Father! He is more than conquerors. He is the foundation on which I stand. He is solid, firm and always there. What more can I ask for?!!


People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.

-This version is credited to Mother Teresa and is written on the wall in Mother Teresa's home for children in Calcutta

Our dream- our prayer

Some have asked specifically the prayer needed during this process. The dream we have is to adopt a little girl. Not too set on anything, just the fact that we are supposed to give a little girl a home. We would like to adopt an infant but that's a chore..... we've been told that it would be easier to adopt a toddler-elementary age. Right now that doesn't seem like the option nor the desire we feel but who knows what God has in store as his plan is revealed.

We are open to about an option right now. Finding a birth mom, adoption agency, international, foster/adopt...just looking at all options right now. The expense is so huge for international and domestic adoption. We believe God will make a way but my goodness it's hard to commit to such a huge expense when you have a family already to support. Words from a favorite song, "He will make a way when there seems to be no way. He works in ways we cannot see. He will make a way!" God is good. Pray for our strength to build! We have faith and we continue to remain steadfast but we eventually are going to have to commit to something and go with it. I'M SCARED! But where there is fear, there is no faith. I keep reminding myself of that.

Pressing on, we believe and that's all we have to do. The flesh wants to see it all and then believe but that's not how it works. Boy, have we all grown accustom to that- Seeing and then believing!

Lord we pray for strength. We pray for faith the faith that is written about in your word. The faith that has healed the sick and raised the dead. You have given us authority as your children to ask and we come asking for a little girl. This world has taught us different but we are looking to you our Father for our guidance, not a plan of our own but of your works. You say you knew us before we were formed. That you are the author and finisher of our faith. So you know Lord how important this is to us and the joy that this little one will bring us. Lord you have placed this desire in our hearts. Our family is in agreement to recieve the blessing you want for us. We praise you God for everything! You have blessed us beyond measure. We ask that you provide the way for us to do this adoption and we pray that every financial need we have will be met. All glory goes to you because we know we could never do this without you. Amen and Amen!!!

Another "adopting family"

So my friends here in town have a little boy that is ready to come home with them. They've met him twice now and are just waiting on the whole process to be complete. It's been almost 2 years for them and now it's happening. I can't imagine the joy they must feel. I can't wait till they are actually able to bring him into their home and give him the family he deserves. It is reassuring to know that it can actually happen and that you can get through the whole thing....

Pray for this family. Pray for God to show favor in these final days. Pray for complete comfort for the "new addition", that God just shows him that he belongs exactly where he is supposed to be. Praise God. He is good. Praise God for families like this that are willing to open their heart to give a child a home that he could only dream of. You know these adopted kids are spoiled rotten.....I can say that since I am one of them! :) It's a unique feeling to know that you were "chosen", that you were wanted so desperately.

Thank you God for opening our hearts to the "true heart of adoption." I pray that many more in this world pray for guidance if they have any notion of the idea of adopting. Pray for all the families out there that are going through this process, pray that they look to Him for their guidance, for the strength that they need to endure the journey and know that in the end God's glory will be revealed. It's scary but if you feel it in your heart. God will lead you. Let him.

Adoption update

Many have asked where we stand on the adoption process. Well, it's a slow right now. Money is very tight and I believe that God did not intend for this process to be taxing on our financial situation. So with never ending faith, we choose to remain patient and hopeful. I've got most of the paperwork complete though Clinton has not had time to finish his autobiographical information. It will get done and the timing will be just right. Please continue to pray for us. Even though my faith is strong, my mind is weak. The devil every day seems to creep right in and tell me how I should just give up.

The boys had moved into one room together before the home visit to open a room up for "Anna Faye". The other day they were fighting and I had decided that I had enough. So I told them that Seth was moving back into the other room. They got extremely upset and begged and pleaded...they said they were sorry and that they would do better that we couldn't move Seth back in there because it was her room. At a weak point I said, "I don't think we can do this boys. I don't think we can do this adoption." Tears flowing at that point, I knew my heart didn't want to say it. I went into the kitchen and washed dishes and walked back down the hall. I noticed a piece of paper taped to the door into that room. My little Seth had written, "Anna Fyae Evans Room", tears came to my eyes. God is good. He will make a way. With faith we press on.

One of my favorite most insipring verses is Matt. 21:22 "You can pray for anything, and if you have faith, you will receive it.". Walking in faith, knowing my God is a Mighty God. Everything in this world is telling us we can't do it, many people even feel like they need to tell us we shouldn't do it, but they don't know what we know. They must not understand the God that I serve, is the God that prepared me in advance to do this!

Crossover Christian Festival

Crossover Christian Festival 2008. Seth, Austin, Matthew (Austin's friend) and I set out at about 1 on Fri. to attend our first ever Crossover Christian Festival. We drove through rain, lighting, thunder, waters rolling....but we made it and with God's ever changing hand, the clouds cleared, the rain stopped and the skies were clear! We enjoyed music by a lot of good artist. Barlowgirl, Building 429, some rapper guy (can't remember his name, but he was good...) last but not least one of our favorite Christian bands Skillet! They rocked! We all had a great time! After about 7 hours of rockin', we were on our way home. After about an hour in to the trip home, the kids crashed and I just had some quiet time. No radio, no talking, just me and God. Some things became quite clear.

We have to live each moment. We can't take one minute for granted. While head banging with my kids, I didn't have one thought about bills, cleaning house, anything....it was just me and them. What a great memory. Grant it....some of the music was really loud and though I'm only 35....maybe a little crazy for momma to head bang to, but you know what it was fun. WHY? you ask...because I was with my kids and we were there praising God. Through the drums, through the electric guitar, even through the head banging- God was right there. How many times have you missed out on a moment? Either because you refused to do something new or the fact that you may have done it but you didn't totally submerse yourself into what it was. God calls us to daily be renewed, refreshed. Renewal, refreshment you have to love those words. He offers them...I'm not saying just totally go crazy...but try something different, drive a new route to work, talk to new people, listen to different music.

Barlowgirl! Love em... They are a band of 3 sisters and the girls can rock! Not only that they are so genuine about their love for God. One thing that came to me is how everyone is pretty good about "doing religion"....you know showing up at church when the doors are open, reciting bible verses, etc....but what about God, what about the Holy Spirit...what about Mon, Tues, Wed, you know....all those days besides Sunday. How good are we at "doing a relationship with God!"? One of the girls recited something out of a book she had read about the Nazi concentration camp. On one of the walls it was written, "I believe in the sun, even though it's not shining. I believe in love, even though I don't feel it. I believe in God, even when He is silent." They wrote a song with these words. Say them to yourself. It can make you have a whole different perspective on our God. Just imagine the person that wrote these words, what they were going through, what they knew was in store for them. Then look at where you are today. Look at all your blessings, even look at your hard times. But know that even though He may be silent, He is with you. He will never leave you. "Be not afraid for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." It's easy to get caught up in "religion". Relationships don't come easy. You have to work on them. I bet, sitting in that cell that person had quite a bit of time to work on their relationship with God. Take time today, tomorrow, every day....show your God that you care enough to give Him more than Sunday.

God is good.

How much are you willing to take for Me?

You know those days that you just wonder...why is this happening? It's like you are trying your hardest to live for Him, to look to Him in all you do. But life happens....either a situation with family, friends, work...just stuff begins to really get you down. No matter how difficult it might be, you have to look to Him. The author and finisher or our faith. You can't question the situation. You want to oh..you want to...but what good does that do but satisfy your fleshly need to become a right fighter, or whatever thing it might be to make "YOU" feel better. I know I've caught myself many times feeling sorry for myself, or wondering why does so and so not like me, or why am I enduring allt his pain but when I go to Him it always becomes quite clear that it's not about me, it's all about Him. It's when my mind turns to my thoughts, my feelings that I begin to really doubt who and what I am.

Things are tough right now...many things have happened in the last few weeks that have really caused me to doubt my Lord. For that I am sorry because I know that even when I doubt Him he still loves me. Really, for years I let my mind really control my whole life. What people thought of me, I even caught myself agreeing with things just to fit in, getting caught up in the latest gossip...all that stuff...that the world is so full of. I found my life being all about me and just about Him when I needed Him. Over the past year, it's become quite clear that serving Him is all about daily dying to self and living for Him- alone. Boy, is that hard sometimes!

Situations happen that we just don't understand, people disappoint us, things happen that aren't comfortable, you almost get to the point of how much more can I take? Then I realize that He only puts on us what we can bear. It's like when you begin to train for a race. You can't expect to just start out running 5 miles. But with each day, with each time you go out, you can withstand more. I think God kinda works in the same way sometimes. He gets us ready for our race...it begins with that alone time, then we draw closer as we begin to worship Him, we find Him so close to us during our prayer time. Then things begin to spin in motion. The training for the race begins. With each milestone we see that "we" (he and I) can do it. Then the next time out we can run a little longer even endure a little heat or a slight hill, it's not so hard. There may be times that we begin to slack and we have to go back to a little in the training.....maybe we aren't doing what he's called us to do, or we've denied Him when we shouldn't, or the sin in our life has taken over. But all we have to do is step back up and begin to run. He doesn't kick us out of the race completely. He lets us back in right where we belong. Then what do you know we're up to the 5 mile marker and aren't even breathing hard.

Then you hear him say, "How much more are you willing to take for Me?" That's hard because this race isn't comfortable. 9 times out of 10, it's really hard. It's like oh my goodness....I just got conditioned for the 5 mile run, now you want more from me. Can't we just get the blessings right here at the 5 mile marker. Haven't I shown you how much I love you. Then I hear him say again, "how much more are you willing to take for Me?" That's what I've come to really praise and thank Him for, the hard times because without them I wouldn't know Him. We say we want Him, we say that we are looking to serve Him alone, but how many times have we let our own pride, judgement, acceptance, you know all that stuff.... stand in our way of really walking with Him. Most times, I take it all over. I make the call that I regret, I say the stuff that isn't for His glory but for my satisfaction, I have ill feelings towards something or someone because they hurt my feelings....I take it over. That's when the problem begins. It takes you over. The only way is His way. If you live for Him and truly do His work then you don't have to worry because he says that, "No weaponed formed against us shall pass." If we are living for Him and not for ourselves, then we must believe that. We must pick our feelings up off the floor and throw them out the door. We must not sit in self pity and drown in our own sorrow. For God is good. He calls us Friend.

Thinking back to all the things Jesus endured while on this Earth...my problems, my situations, are nothing. Though they may be uncomfortable or even bad stuff, at times....I know that my God has already endured the pain for me.

Lord, I pray that you continue to make me a Mighty Warrior for you. Everyday let me suit up with the breast plate of righteousness, the helmet of salavation, the sword of the Spirit and shoes of peace that you have provided for me! Cover me with with your grace and mercy. I am weak but in my weakness you are strong! Praise God! My only desire Lord is to please you. Let my troubles and trials be released and I choose to rest in Your goodness. Thank you Lord for being our Saviour!

Believe

Believe for....the best even when times are tough.
Believe for....His glory even when things seem dark.
Believe for....tomorrow to be even better than today.
Believe for....His complete love rather than judgment.
Believe for....obedience in His way rather than our way.
Believe for....the one day every knee will bow and tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord.

God is good.

Mother's Day 2008

I've waited for the words to describe Mother's Day 2008. Not even sure if there are words to completely describe what happened- maybe "Spirit filled, Spirit driven". If that even does it justice.

Saturday evening (Mother's Day eve) I lie in bed crying...I find myself doing that quite often, here lately. The cry this time was not a sad cry...it's just that cry out to Jesus. Sad, happy, fearful, faith filled, I cry with it all! It's one of those You are amazing God, I am so weak!! Anyway, there was complete and udder surrender to Him that night!

As mentioned in a previous blog, we are probably over thinking this whole thing (domestic or international) and it's hard not to do that when that's what you are used to doing. I've even questioned is this what we are supposed to do, why am I feeling so confused? What he told me that night was the only thing he requires of me is to have faith. Listen and be ready, He says. Sleep came pretty quickly and then we awoke to a beautiful Mother's Day. Isn't it amazing the wonderful peace He can offer when we just receive it.

Sunday morning....the boys and I walked in to see my mother in law sitting there waiting for us at church. Praise God for that miracle. Totally unexpected! But very thankful. She said she just really felt like she needed to come that day. Boy, am I glad she listened. Kevin had a very inspiring Martha/Mary sermon. Why must he preach to me each and every time! But you know what, I am so thankful he does. From this Martha to a Mary wanna be....his lesson spoke wonders to the fact that it's ok to just be, to just be there at the foot of Jesus. Doing good things is not a bad thing but sometimes "doing" can get in the way of what God has intended for us.

So after the lesson Kevin has all the mom's go up to get a rose and he asks if anyone has anything to say. Well, my friend Eva steps up and as soon as she started speaking, I felt God's hands wrap around me. The more she spoke the more I cried, I don't even remember all she said- the only thing I remember is the fact that God was right there. Eva's words were God's words. She told her story of when Terry Duffy had asked if anyone wanted to have a baby back many Mother Day's ago. Eva was trying to get pregnant but no luck. Jon raised his hand for Eva and at that point the church then prayed for her. Not long after that, did she get the news that she was expecting.

Eva said that God told her she was to get up and tell this story again. She had told it about 7 years ago but she was to tell it once more. As she finished speaking she said I'm sure there is someone here right now that wants a baby more than anything. As you can imagine, tears at that point were the size of golf balls. She looked at me and said, "Paige"....the tears were flowing like a river at that point. God is good- so, so good !!! Another young mother stepped up, as well and at that point Kevin began to pray. That peace came all over me, you know the peace that passes all understanding....that was it! Boy, am I so glad that Eva didn't deny Him that morning! I think back to some of the times that I've denied Him and think oh my goodness that same comfort that Eva gave to me that morning could have been provided to someone else. Lesson learned.

Don't deny Him- even when you don't know what your doing, He knows, he prompts us and we should let our ego our fear of judgment fall to the wayside and just do it..... Eva had no idea about my cry out to Jesus Sat. night. but God heard my cry and he answered. There is no doubt in my mind that Eva was used according to His purpose that morning! Praise God! I didn't expect Mother's Day to be such a blessing. Thank you Lord for Eva and for my church family.

From a "once take it all on, I can do it, independent gal".....to a "complete surrender, I am nothing without You, pray for me, help me Lord convert"- Thank you Jesus.....Thank you for your complete Sovereignty.

Clinton didn't get to make the church service that day and boy I couldn't wait to tell Him every detail. He didn't act surprised. Sometimes I think God is telling Him something he's not telling me! He's my Rock many times, most times. He was disappointed not being there but by his words and his calm confidence, I knew he felt God, too.

Thank you Jesus for giving us that peace. Remove any doubt in our minds and fill it with your complete peace. We choose to receive exactly what you have promised...peace...What a powerful word. Let us wake up everyday with that power that you have given us. The peace that should flow from every pore. The joy of waiting on His plan. Lord bless each and every person that reads this with the peace that passes all understanding. My prayer is that everyone experience your love right now as they read this and feel your presence in any circumstance they may be going through.

God is good.

Did I say there was paperwork??!!

Didn't quite realize exactly how much paperwork there was with this whole thing until I had it all lying out there in front of me this morning. There was lots of talk about how much there was and now that I'm diving into it all it's become quite overwhelming! I'm having to bite a little off at a time because there is no way I could look at it all at once and think I could get it accomplished. Kinda like when we clean the house, we just have to look at 1 room at a time......


I know that God would not put this on our hearts if he wasn't planning on providing us everything we need to get through it. Mentally, financially and physically. It's hard to see that all right now because I need someone to come up with mine and Clinton's autobiographical statements from birth to now. (that's a long time...) Copies of driver's license, medical releases, just tons of STUFF! But I believe God will provide me with all the strength and time to get it done.


I'm actually an information junkie, I love implementing and executing a plan, paperwork, stuff like that...ok, that just sounds so not right....but anyway. Usually this type of stuff doesn't bother me...or at least when I'm doing someone else's stuff but when it's mine...it's hard. Maybe because the only person I'm accountable to is myself. Have you ever done that? Let something slide because it's just "you". I DO ALL THE TIME!! Today I choose to be accountable because God calls us each to do things. We have to be obedient. He didn't say this was going to be easy but is anything easy that really test our faith? We wouldn't grow in faith if it was easy. Because we'd think oh I did this...or I did that. This thing is going to have to take God! I'm learning all things take God! Big and small. I can't just sit around talking about it or figuring out something else to do for someone so I don't have to do "my stuff", or continue to complain about all it's going to take. Like Nike says, "Just do it!"


God give us the strength to do this paperwork, give us the fortitude to get it all done. Let us use the gifts you have given to us to do what you have called us to do. We need your strength because only you alone can help us "tackle" these mounds of papers!


God is good.

Going up the Hill!

Well, I set out today to go to the post office and run right back home. As I'm going down the road, the truck dies. I make the decision to let it coast down Broadway thinking I might make it to White Oak but mid coast I realize White Oak doesn't have diesel. So I try swinging into the Fire Dept. but end up in the grass off to the side. Just for future reference, vehicles like gas and gas usually helps them run.....in case there are any of you out there that haven't figured that out, such as myself!

Why you ask am I telling you this story. Well, as I'm walking up Broadway Hill back to our house (which is located at te very top of the hill mind you) God says, "Paige, you are going to have to get prepared. You can't expect me to do it all." Then it all comes to light this little incovenience.....of walking up the hill. I realize that oh my goodness...it would have been so much easier if I would have had tennis shoes on...flip flops are not the greatest thing to walk in. (Boy the sides of my calves started to burn.) Then I realized oh my goodness....I didn't brush my teeth, put deodorant or put any make up on (if any of you know me, I like to have my make up on when I go to town ...really not so much for me but just to spare you all :) ) Anyway, here I am walking up Broadway not too happy with the whole situation but grinning because God is speaking to me. Funny how he does that, using these types of situations, for you to really think and listen! I realized that I had been procastinating....not completely getting what I need to get done, done. I was planning on "walking up Broadway" and hadn't prepared. I didn't wear tennis shoes and you all know you should probably wear tennis shoes if you are planning a long walk. I didn't brush my teeth that would have come in real handy if anyone would have drove by (did I mention not one car drove up the street as I was walking up it! Where are all the people??? I thought....) Makeup and deodorant, well as much as that's not a real necessity, I do like to go out and not scare everyone, not too big of a deal since there was no one! :)

What I'm getting at is we are wanting to adopt but all we are doing is praying (that's not a bad thing) but we are waiting for God and he's not going to do it all for us. One thing I did realize was that he will provide you with lots....like today....it was overcast, boy would I have been ticked if it was sunny and hot...it was breezy, that made it nice when I begin to feel like the oxygen was being cut off at my throat! So he will help out with the overall picture but he expects us to do our part. Getting prepared, doing what you know you need to do.

As I topped the hill and was at the home stretch, I almost felt like I could run (ok, I won't go overboard, maybe a swift jog). The joy of making it to the top, to the finish. He then says,"I'll get you to the end just do what you need to do though...." God is good. He shows that to me daily even when he makes me walk up Broadway Hill not prepared!

Home Study #2

The trip to Little Rock was great. Clinton and I visited with Bill and Ardele for a few minutes and then Clinton went with Bill and I with Ardele. Lots of questions and reflection. Some of the questions hit real close to home, more so much for myself, being most in part of me being adopted. Lots of memories and feelings brought to light that I had tucked away nice and neat in the back of mind because they were a little too messy for me to have to deal with. It was good....

One of the questions that were asked was how the boys were with the idea of adoption. Did they even have a choice of bringing a "little one" into our family? Our boys have been two of the most inspirational people to us through this whole process. Their faith, reselence, joy and just overall openess to change. Because it will be a change. Seth and I visited the other night on the couch, he was lying in my arms (man I'm so glad he still likes to do that) and I said you know you're not going to be the baby in the family anymore but you know you'll always be mommy's baby boy. He looks up at me with that freckled face and sweet grin and goes "that's ok mom, I get to be a big brother!" Amazing...amazing how children can be so open to change. Austin and I were visiting at the dinner table the other night, Clinton and I were talking about the domestic or international, I wanted a plan...we had to have a plan. We were trying to figure out the whole "which way should we go" Austin goes "open both doors...." I'm sure he's heard us talk about all this and the possibilities of all the avenues of adopting but for him to care enough, to be concerned enough, to listen plus actually give a suggestion. That's amazing.

Both the boys have been an active part in the whole process, really for the past 6 years. We've been discussing this with them as soon as we started exploring the possibility. I've learned a lot from them in this. Sometimes I wonder about the timing why it's now, why it's so clear it's now....it's hard not to think that God waited for my two boys to be a little older so they could be a support for us. Their faith. You know they've not been beat down by this world as much as us. They still have that can do, get on with it attitude. Thank you God for my boys. Thank you for blessing me beyond measure.

God is good. His blessings are overflowing everyday. Pay attention to your children, your friends....God has placed them in your life so you can be uplifted and refreshed. It's almost like Him speaking to you through them. Another post soon about God, and friends, and Him speaking to you in the next few days.....I'm waiting for the right words about a Spirit moving experience. God bless each of you!

"Storms"

Isn't it amazing how the sun can be shining, birds chirping and not a cloud in the sky- then all of a sudden a storm pops up, out of nowhere. Gradually, the sky darkens, the wind begins to blow and the rain pours. Storms- they can just pop up out of the blue when it seems like everything is going great.


The "storms" that show up in our lives are just as quick to come in as the ones that cloud the clear blue sky. Within just a few minutes, the car windows you had rolled down as you were enjoying the breeze in your hair, need to be frantically rolled up because the wind begins to blow the rain in. The chair that you were sitting in under the tree as you read your book, has to be quickly put in the garage or it will blow across the road. Haven't we had those days where you were going right along ...enjoying your life, your family, your job and then boom...something happens...the clouds roll in- with fear and uncertainty. That jolt of thunder- your child has problems at school and you can't bear to see his heart hurting. Clash the streak of lighting- brings you to face a sudden death of a friend or a family member. Rain...the downpour- a business that you have built just begins to be washed away.

It happens those "storms" but what we do during the storm is as important as the joy we have when things are going great, with no problems, no questions...just happiness. That's easy- being happy when things are going great. But the true test, the true blessing is to praise Him during the storm. Sometimes we wonder why bad things happen to good people. We may question why we are having to go through a difficult time. It's even hard not to get mad at God. We can get mad, we can sit in self pity but He never leaves us. He'll be there once the storm passes, he'll even be there during the storm, if we look to Him. Knowing He alone can be the great Comforter.


My mind goes back to the story of Jesus and the disciples as they cross the the lake. All the disciples reacting to the storm that popped up, how they didn't know what to do...how they were concerned that they would die.....as they just let Jesus lie there. It wasn't until they woke Him and asked Him to help them that he was able to calm the sea. God remind me to ask.....Remind me to praise you during the storm. That with those "storms" bring endurance, perseverance, humilty....character....You say you will never leave us, or forsake us. It is written, do not be afraid for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. Let me not be afraid. Let me grow in my faith.

Words from one of my favorite songs...I was sure by now that you would have reached down and wiped our tears away, stepped in and saved the day, but once again I say Amen and it's still raining. And as the thunder rolls, I barely hear you whisper through the rain, I am with you. And as your mercy falls, I raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away. And I'll praise you in the storm and I will lift my hands. You are who you no matter where I am.

God is good. "Rejoice in the good things the Lord your God has given to you...."Deuteronomy 26:11.

As you can probably tell by my entry....the "storms" of life are clouding our view. But we rest in Him and look to Him. As we begin this journey, storms roll in but we rest in the blessed assurance that God is with us. We will be traveling to Little Rock Monday for the 2nd part of the home study. I've been working on mounds of paper work the last couple of days. We are still not sure as to go forward with the international adoption or the domestic or both...We really feel like domestic could be an option but I think my problem is the uncertainty. It's like with the international adoption it seems more "controllable". If really anything we do is really controlled? I think that's my problem...needing to make a plan...when the only plan is His. Please continue to pray for us, that we look to Him for the wisdom rather than trying to figure it out for ourselves! God bless each of you. Thank you for your prayers.

Waiting on the Lord

Waiting....what a word! Not too common in this world of convienience- of the instant gratification fix. Our world has turned in to an "instant fix" for about any problem or need a person may have. Cell phones, voice mail, instant messaging.....We've become so accustom to getting what we want when we want that we have lost the "ancient art" of waiting.

Grant it, it's great that you can drive by the local McDonald's- in an out in less than 5 mins.- and a meal for the whole family. Boy, I've been thankful for that some evenings!! Cell phones, those come in handy too especially when you forgot to put milk on the list and your able to get that call in and then enjoy milk with those cookies. But if you think about, it's kinda turned us into a bunch of impatient, gratification seekers. So when it's time to make a decision about something big we tend to want to know the answer NOW! The Spirit will prompt you, He is there with us all the time we just have to "choose" to listen. Then you've got the answer.....oh my.....that's a whole 'nother can of worms....sometimes that answer is something that doesn't quite go along with "our plans". Then what do we do??? More on that later....

Ultimatley, isn't it all about "choices" choosing patience over the instant fix. Choosing peace over the craziness we sometimes turn our lives into. Choosing love instead of the judgment that comes so easy. The Bible says, that we have the fruits of the Spirit. We have them. We don't have to go and get them, it's not some mystical equation, it's not even something we have to wait for....each and every one of them are given to us freely. If we embrace each of them, the waiting we need to do isn't so hard.

So today why don't we all choose to "wait upon the Lord". Why don't we choose to receive the patience He says we have and with that we can be confident knowing that His glory will be revealed. Now that's amazing....and pretty easy if you think about it.

Father, may we all choose to wait upon your plan. Give us the confidence to understand that you alone know our steps. We pray that with faith, with the trust in you alone, we come to fully understand how AWESOME you are. Work in each of our lives so we may have the abundant, over flowing joy you offer!

Now get ready.....because if you listen- you'll hear!

Questions?????

Well I knew there would be questions along the way but I didn't anticipate this particular question. Where should we adopt from? We thought it was so cut and dry with the international adoption. Then the adoption process through the State was presented in a different light so now it's like- What are we supposed to do???

Of course ,I want it to just happen....like tomorrow....but I know that's not possible. Even a normal "pregnancy" takes 9 months! Somehow I wish there was a little book with the plan laid out nice and neat for us. That our little "angel" was here and that we had to do this and this and this and then go get her. Not so easy. Boy, does God know how to really try and test your faith your ability to completly trust in Him alone. We are hanging out here on a limb and it just seems like we are uncertain now. I don't want to be like Sarah and take it over and go out and mess things all up! I'm not going to do that...I'm not going to take it over. I wish that He would just send us a bright flashing neon sign saying this is the way your to go....why can't he do that? No really, we know it will all be revealed. We've waited 6 years to do this, so what's a little more time in making sure we are doing His will.....

God is good.

For those of you that may read this. Please pray for us as we begin this journey.

Isaiah 40:31 But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

God please let us wait for you. May we wait for you, then soar to the heights that you have waiting for us. Give us strength for the day that you say the time is now. Let us walk by your side and know that you are our strength. For you alone are Almighty.

Home Study Visit #1

Garage Sale day #2, Home Study visit day #1!! Busy day today! The garage sale went well. We raised about $250. It was a unique day today. Mom showed up to help out with the garage sale knowing that the Barling's would be here to do the walk through. So she comes in and barely gets her coat off and says she has to say something....that there has to be a baby out there for us in the states. A doctor, DHS, family friend, something! that would allow us to adopt here and not go abroad. I tell her we've looked a lot of that and it seems as difficult to do that than it is for international and that babies through DHS are hard to come by- or at least that is what we've heard. So we start talking about money, when and what we need to get in order. Then out of the blue a friend and relative of mine show up to look at the garage sale. I had heard the friend and his wife had just adopted a little girl and asked him about it. They did it through the foster/adopt system in Arkansas. It made me think. There was lots he said that just really was inspiring and to know that it is possible to get a baby and the fact that you don't have to give it back. Adopting through DHS was something we vaguely looked at because we had heard some terrible stories as to the whole process.

So now it's like- Lord we know that you are here to guide us. We are looking to you for wisdom and discernment. I know I've went too many years just throwing things to circumstance or possibly not even recognizing these things. This encounters, phone calls, visits from people you've not seen in a while, all that....But it's hard not to think that God didn't send him to my house today. Out of all days. The day that we dive right in to the whole process. So with that, my mind begin to wonder. Clinton seems to think it's God's answer to the fact that now he might not have to fly across the world to get a baby!! (Did I mention he's never flown in a plane, nor has any desire to fly in a plane??!!) All I know is that God has a plan. I just want to make sure that we do exactly what he calls us to do.

The home study meeting went great. The Barling's are wonderful people. It was a very exciting day to get this first item on the very long list of things to do- checked off. Lots of paperwork to still complete just for the home study. Austin didn't have much to say, could have something to do with the fact, he was up till 2 this morning at the Baxter Co. Relay for Life. Seth was is usual loving, talkitive self. He was very inquisitive about the whole thing.

It was a good day. Just anxious to get to praying and waiting for an answer from the Big Guy, as to what we are to do. We've taken that step in faith. We believe God will reveal His plan. So now it's just that patience thing. We are ready to receive His guidance as to what to do. Many years ago, I would have probably taken over by now. Boy, it's so nice to not have to worry about that anymore. To really feel at peace about waiting and believing.

Philippians 4:6-7 - "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." How great is that!!

God is good!!

You are not going to believe this!!!

OK, so yesterday we mailed the application. There is a possibility that Saturday, our Home Study will begin!! Talk about "quick"! We've got a yard sale going this weekend. Gotta raise some money.....but the Home Study guy is like that's ok. We will do the walk through and then in a week or so we can get the interviews done. Is this process really happening??? Am I dreaming.....This is real.

Clinton just got home from Little Rock, I'm like are you ready??? Ready for what he says! Ready for this thing to really begin. We're ready. "Here I am send me" Lord!

Just got off the phone with my mom, Mary Ann, we can talk about it now and know that it's going to happen. Just knowing that a little girl, will soon join our family. A little girl, I'm not even sure if I'll know what to do with a little girl. My two boys, are such boys! If you know what I mean! Having dolls and pink things lying around will definitely be different!

God is good!

Blessed is the man that trust in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him. Jer. 17:7 We are truly blessed! Thank you Lord for giving us the faith to trust in you. Having that faith as small as a mustard seed....just knowing that "little seed" can hold just enough faith for God to spin his plan in motion.

It's official....We are expecting!

We are expecting!!! Not in the traditional, big belly, pickle-craving, hormonal, type of pregnancy. But in the glorious, can't wait, how much more paperwork is there, is she really out there, adoption "pregnancy". At 8:30 p.m. Tues., April 29th, we mailed the adoption application to Adoption Hope International. It was a very exciting time. We are all pretty giddy with emotion. As a family unit, we've been waiting for this day for over 6 years. But for me, I've waited a life time.....The desire has been there for about as long as I can remember. Being adopted myself, adopting a little girl was something that I felt like God wanted me to do. So all the glory goes to Him today for it was He who set this plan in motion.

The next step is to complete the Home Study. There's a great guy that my friend Melonie referred us to. We are excited to get that complete. Once that's done we can start applying for Grants. We know that God will make a way when there seems to be no way. We pray for his favor. Within the month of May, we will travel to Ft. Smith to get fingerprinted. They have to make sure we aren't serial killers, or bank robbers! In the meantime, I'm working on passports for the family and additional government paperwork.

It's late and I better hit the hay. It will be hard for me to sleep tonight knowing that we just got the news that "there's a baby on the way!" God is good!

Getting prepared

Well we are busy getting prepared for submitting our application. It seems like we've been going through the preparation process for a long time now. Adoption has been on our hearts for about 6 years now. More for me since I had this desire at a very young age. The desire to give that same gift that I was given. A home full of love and care from a family that wanted me more than anything! We have those feelings now!
God is good! Faith has played a big part in our decision to adopt. So we are walking in faith, knowing with God all things are possible. Can't wait to begin to record this fantastic and exciting journey.