How much are you willing to take for Me?

You know those days that you just wonder...why is this happening? It's like you are trying your hardest to live for Him, to look to Him in all you do. But life happens....either a situation with family, friends, work...just stuff begins to really get you down. No matter how difficult it might be, you have to look to Him. The author and finisher or our faith. You can't question the situation. You want to oh..you want to...but what good does that do but satisfy your fleshly need to become a right fighter, or whatever thing it might be to make "YOU" feel better. I know I've caught myself many times feeling sorry for myself, or wondering why does so and so not like me, or why am I enduring allt his pain but when I go to Him it always becomes quite clear that it's not about me, it's all about Him. It's when my mind turns to my thoughts, my feelings that I begin to really doubt who and what I am.

Things are tough right now...many things have happened in the last few weeks that have really caused me to doubt my Lord. For that I am sorry because I know that even when I doubt Him he still loves me. Really, for years I let my mind really control my whole life. What people thought of me, I even caught myself agreeing with things just to fit in, getting caught up in the latest gossip...all that stuff...that the world is so full of. I found my life being all about me and just about Him when I needed Him. Over the past year, it's become quite clear that serving Him is all about daily dying to self and living for Him- alone. Boy, is that hard sometimes!

Situations happen that we just don't understand, people disappoint us, things happen that aren't comfortable, you almost get to the point of how much more can I take? Then I realize that He only puts on us what we can bear. It's like when you begin to train for a race. You can't expect to just start out running 5 miles. But with each day, with each time you go out, you can withstand more. I think God kinda works in the same way sometimes. He gets us ready for our race...it begins with that alone time, then we draw closer as we begin to worship Him, we find Him so close to us during our prayer time. Then things begin to spin in motion. The training for the race begins. With each milestone we see that "we" (he and I) can do it. Then the next time out we can run a little longer even endure a little heat or a slight hill, it's not so hard. There may be times that we begin to slack and we have to go back to a little in the training.....maybe we aren't doing what he's called us to do, or we've denied Him when we shouldn't, or the sin in our life has taken over. But all we have to do is step back up and begin to run. He doesn't kick us out of the race completely. He lets us back in right where we belong. Then what do you know we're up to the 5 mile marker and aren't even breathing hard.

Then you hear him say, "How much more are you willing to take for Me?" That's hard because this race isn't comfortable. 9 times out of 10, it's really hard. It's like oh my goodness....I just got conditioned for the 5 mile run, now you want more from me. Can't we just get the blessings right here at the 5 mile marker. Haven't I shown you how much I love you. Then I hear him say again, "how much more are you willing to take for Me?" That's what I've come to really praise and thank Him for, the hard times because without them I wouldn't know Him. We say we want Him, we say that we are looking to serve Him alone, but how many times have we let our own pride, judgement, acceptance, you know all that stuff.... stand in our way of really walking with Him. Most times, I take it all over. I make the call that I regret, I say the stuff that isn't for His glory but for my satisfaction, I have ill feelings towards something or someone because they hurt my feelings....I take it over. That's when the problem begins. It takes you over. The only way is His way. If you live for Him and truly do His work then you don't have to worry because he says that, "No weaponed formed against us shall pass." If we are living for Him and not for ourselves, then we must believe that. We must pick our feelings up off the floor and throw them out the door. We must not sit in self pity and drown in our own sorrow. For God is good. He calls us Friend.

Thinking back to all the things Jesus endured while on this Earth...my problems, my situations, are nothing. Though they may be uncomfortable or even bad stuff, at times....I know that my God has already endured the pain for me.

Lord, I pray that you continue to make me a Mighty Warrior for you. Everyday let me suit up with the breast plate of righteousness, the helmet of salavation, the sword of the Spirit and shoes of peace that you have provided for me! Cover me with with your grace and mercy. I am weak but in my weakness you are strong! Praise God! My only desire Lord is to please you. Let my troubles and trials be released and I choose to rest in Your goodness. Thank you Lord for being our Saviour!